partner gets all the fun, im sat in like a plum

[honeysmummy1]

Sinse becoming a mum two years ago I have never felt so lonely!
I am 22, my friends are just interested in going out and I can't as my priorities have changed, I don't want to spend money on boozy nights out, I always want to come back early and I dont want hangovers the next day when I have a child to care for. Occationally I do have the odd night out and never really enjoy it like I did when I was care free and single.
I ask my friends round for drinks at my place, chinese food, a film etc but they always make excuses up or cancel last minute...They are just not interested unless its about going out on the town, getting stupidly drunk. It wouldn't be so bad if taxis didn't cost an absolute fortune round here, I would rather keep the money in the bank!
The worse part about it is my partner has a group of loyal friends he sees all the time. Hes currently at his local thursday night pub quiz and im sat here like a plum bored as usual. Hes having a boys night in on saturday at one of the guys house, a pre-bonfire night in...And where will i be? Stuck in on my own watching x factor, when all I want to do is ring up my friends and for them to come round for a giggle :(
My boyfriend sees his friends about three to four times a week and I hate that I have to be left stuck in. Its not his fault my friends are being awkward and that he has real friends but it doesn't make me feel any better.
I go to mother and toddler group and have met some lovely people, a bit older than me but it doesn't bother me, I will need to arrange a girly night in with them one night...My partner says he is made to feel guilty for seeing his friends as he always texts me to ask if im having fun while hes out with them and i always reply no! well what does he expect!?

Your 22 year old boyfriend is acting like any other 22 year old with no responsibilities.

I think a man of that age who is truly ready to take on the responsibility of a child that isn't his, is as rare as rocking horse shit - and I suspect when it comes to the crunch, this fella ain't it. Sorry.

oasisofcalm we have been together for 1.5 years, i think he will come round in his own time as well just like your partner.
he obviously wants to be with us long term as hes saved for half the deposit for a mortgage etc
he doesnt stay out all night, leaves early while his buds go on somewhere else or stay out later. doesnt make it much better for me to be honest though
i think when his buds all get girlfriends things will change, watch this space

I've PM'd you OP.

I really feel for you honey, I remember only too well the loneliness and frustration of being sitting in with the dcs night after night while ex dh went out on the piss yet again. I was 25 when I had my first and like you was the first of my peer group to have a baby, in fact most of them still don't have dcs and we're in our 30s now. Occasionally one of my friends would come and sit in with me while everyone else was at the pub but I would feel guilty about it, like I was depriving them of a fun night out, when also it was my dh that should have wanted to spend time with me but didn't!

We did actually separate last year, and his going out all the time did play a big part in that, not least because he ended up getting 'close' to his best mates girlfriend and going off drinking with her (they are now together, funny that!) I think some compromise with your dp would be a good idea, maybe a regular once a week night out on your own and an opportunity to go out and weekends with or without him sometimes would help. Have an honest talk to him and take it from there, good luck! X

I have been in your shoes OP. I ended up splitting up with XP as he didn't want to change his ways. I then started with evening classes and went back to Uni to do a graphic design degree.

I also found my friends were the same. Keep going to as many mums and toddlers community type things as you can, I met some really good people and I loved it.