DP not good looking

[ItCouldBeSweet]

Can a relationship work when you don't find your partner particularly good looking? He has a gorg bod, the chemistry and sex is fab and I love him to bits but never know what to say when he tells me I'm gorg. Is it doomed or is it possible to see past looks once the initially headyness is over?

I think it depends if you really don't find him good-looking, as in when you look at his face you don't find him attractive ( I get that he has a hot bod and when in the sack, this is more important). I do think this is a killer in a long-term relationship, because as others have said, as time passes and you have bad patches you basically don't fancy him and this is a real problem.

I do know what you mean, it's not about what others think, and not conventionally attractive men can be attractive to you, but I don't think this is the situation here and personally, I would only be with someone whose face I could live with and thought handsome (IYSWIM).

You obviously find him very attractive or the chemistry wouldn't be there. If you don't think he's traditionally facially attractive but love him anyway just reply with, 'thanks, you're a bit of alright/ pretty hot yourself' or similar. That's clearly the truth or the sex wouldn't be good.

I don't really get why you're asking the question though- who gives a shit what the masses think- you think he's great and he reciprocates the feeling. So many people are searching for that, just appreciate it.

I don't really understand it either. If you love someone you love the way they look, and can't separate your feelings from what you see. It sounds like you don't feel anything particularly strong for him so are analysing whether he's attractive according to some external "objective" standard instead. So I'd have to admit that that probably doesn't augur well for the relationship working.

Also, you say he's got a "gorg bod", which my cross-generational auto-translator faithfully informs me means he's extremely attractive from the neck down. So either (a) you're being unrealistically fussy in attaching so much importance to the tiny percentage of total surface area that fails to meet your exacting standards, or (b) he must REALLY look like Quasi Fuckin Modo on a bad hair day if his ugliness is enough to balance out the body beautiful and the great sex. Have you tried suggesting (tactfully, of course) that he wear a paper bag over his head?

Also regarding this:

I love him to bits but never know what to say when he tells me I'm gorg

Bear in mind that men generally say that in order to get sex. So "thank you, now give me some of that super duper lovin', big boy (but don't forget the paper bag)" would probably be the most appropriate answer.

My friends & family thought I was joking when I started dating my DP. Tbh, I asked myself what was going on as I didn't actually find him attractive but he made me laugh & I enjoyed spending time with him.

We were friends for about a year before we somehow started dating but when it happened, I was blown away.

I fell in love with him & very quickly he became the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on.

I still think about a certain boyfriend who was ugly as sin, hairy back, rebound. He was also just a wonderful person, great in bed and shared all my passions. I didn't appreciate what I had. You should see whether you can. When he tells you you are gorgeous, tell him whatever he does well...

I can't really understand that you write, "He has a gorg bod, the chemistry and sex is fab and I love him to bits", and at the same time say that he is not good-looking.

Is he not the loveliest man in the world to you? Why would you judge his looks so objectively when you write so warmly about him in other regards?

I think that you think you could do better.

So, p'raps you'd better move on. You don't fully appreciate your DP because he doesn't meet all your expectations, which is rather sad for both of you.

Are you really into him? sorry but I think personality and a loving kind attitude are what counts on meeting someone, I know intially we all go for the chemistry, I like you had a an extremely handsome husband , did not last he was a rat , to me looks are on skin deep , I really dont understand what it is your problem when everything else seems perfect with him.