Did your DH/P panic before making a commitment?

[Kook]

Did they change their behaviour and start to overly compensate by acting like one of the boys for a while? How long did it last? What made them stop?

If not did you have someone that was totally sure and desperate to secure they wouldn't loose you?

No he didn't. Not a single flinch. I don't think DH was 'desperate to secure me', we were/are in love having DD and getting married were natural next steps to both of us. DH was in his early 30's when he met me and had been married before, so maybe that makes a difference ?

no -but I did

Yes he panicked but not by acting like one of the boys.

On the 1st occasion I was due to hand in my notice at work so that I could move 250 miles to live with him permanently. The day before I did it he suddenly changed his mind and said he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. I was p*ssed off at work anyway so said I was going to resign anyway, either to live with him or to stay up north and get another job. 24 hrs later he had gotten over it.

On the 2nd occasion he got in touch with an ex on Friends Reunited. It was obvious she still wanted him and made a pretty unsubtle play for him. This went on for about 8 weeks I think and we very very nearly finished over it, but he just suddenly came to his senses. He said seeing her made him realise it was me he wanted and he sent her packing. (she didn't give up but that's another story!)

Anyway, both of these were pre marriage and pre dd. I've also heard similar stories from other people so I don't think it's uncommon.

Personally, I believe you can't change other people's behaviour, only how you react to it. You have to decide for yourself whether your dp's behaviour is tolerable and for how long. In my situation I said to dh when I got to the end of my tether that I'd had enough and either he stopped seeing her or I moved out and I meant it. (they didn't have sex btw) I had to resolve the situation one way or another and that was my way of taking control.

Afraid not but as Shimmy21 said - I did. I was awful and was pretty unhappy about getting married in general and behaved appalingly.

Dh bless him took no notice - said that as I was pregnant he wanted to have rights to his child (I think that was an excuse but it worked) and we got married.

I am really happy I did now but before you'd have thought I was going to a funeral or something.

So either way it can work out, i suppose people handle things in different ways. Yaffle your story has made me see things in a more positive light. Thanks.

no, my DH was only 22, but desperate to settle down. he'd never really been one of the boys, and i was his first girlfriend.

haven't see any signs of regretting it so far, maybe when he turns 40 he'll buy a motorbike, wear new aftershave and start hanging out with kids half his age

No

easily committed to the relationship and then started acting like he was MAN and i was dainty housewife

that changed

Glad it helped Kook, he has been a model husband ever since and cringes whenever I bring up how he behaved.