How many of you have thought of ending your relationship or have done because you can't stand your mil.....

[mum2sam]

With all these mil threads lately I wondered if any of you have just had enough and considered leaving your partner due to an interfering mil or have actually left your dh/p over them.

Even though we arent speaking to mine she still has a way of turning people against us and making us feel that we are in the wrong. Dh has eventually stood up to her a little bit but the only reason we arent talking is because she called it.He still holds back when arguing with her and doesnt always say what he really feels. If he were arguing with me he wouldnt hold back on anything.

Sometimes I cant be bothered with the stress and petty arguements. And also for feeling like im the one to blame because I have in a way come in between them i.e falling in love with dh and him with me and she cant accept it.Sometimes I feel like he will end up resenting me if any thing happened to her yet i havent done anything wrong.Just feek like leaving them to it.

i left xp for several reasons, the main one was mil and most of the others had her as the foundation of the problem. xp would not stand up to her at all, it was very clear if he was made to choose between us he would choose her so i left before it came to that. he still denies she was ever a problem. best thing i ever did! :)

have had&still have many rows over dp"s mother if you can call her that,but i wont let her split us

Our 10th Wedding Anniversary is at the beginning of May. If I'd known what I'd have to put up with 12 1/2 years ago when we met, I'd have run a mile. It's just been 12 1/2 years of tantrums from the ILs, MIL using me as her personal scapegoat and her almost splitting us up when we got engaged. DH is now scared of them and will put his parents feelings first before those of me and the children. DH also makes excuses for his parents behaviour and will a lot of the time twist situations so that his parents bad moods are the result of something I've done.

The thing is that when we don't have anything to do with the ILs, we get along great. It's just when I see him putting his parents first, I see him as rather a pathetic person. I think I would have ended the relationship before we had children but I always stuck by it then because I kept telling myself that I wasn't marrying his parents, I was marrying him. Now that we do have children, I just have as little to do with them as possible. I'd never end the marriage now, as much as anything I wouldn't give the ILs the satisfaction of that. But if we had ever split up in the past, I would have told them in no uncertain terms that they were responsible.

Slightly different perspective but a few years ago dh told me that in the early days of our marriage he considered packing things in because of the stress of my parents (always needing money, always in a crisis etc) and because of the arguments it caused. It really shocked me, I'd known it was a problem obviously but not that it affected him so much.(this was pre-children too) If I'd known at the time how bothered he was I'd have concentrated on us more and tried to distance myself from my parents- your marriage has to come first. Does he realise just how upset you are?