hi,
i am at the end of my tether with my mil!
i have just heard that she has yet again been slating me behind my back in front of the rest of her family at the weekend. i have been sworn to secrecy, as to say i knew would not help other relations and trust. but i dont know what to do. do i have to put up with a lifetime of her being so mean and giving me so much stress because i gave birth to her grandchildren?
my bf and i nearly split up last year because of our constant arguing about what she says and does. my bf cannot understand why or how it hurts me and then we argue. he never really takes sides...saying we are as bad as eachother. we have never had a cross word. except for last year, we were debating men and women having equal pay, and she thinks that men should be paid more and women shouldnt get maternity pay!!!! [crank].
it is a long story, but roughly this: i fell pregnant [been with bf for 6 years beforehand and were living together] and she blanked me for the whole duration, only to secretley meet bf and to try to persuade him not to have the baby. when ds was born she couldnt have put on a happier face and seemed to love him. then she has occassionally said the odd thing on the phone to bf about me, derogatory remarks to which he never fights back with and just says 'mmmm'. then i got pregnant again last year. my ds told her in january [he didnt understand it was confidential!]. i knew as bf got text from sil saying 'is ...up the duff?'! [hmm, nice eh?]. mil did not talk to bf or me until march and then wrote a card saying congrats [after knowing for 3 months]. then she phoned bf and did the same, advising him to leave me!!! [he says he did tell her not to say anything anymore, but i dont know as she nevr phones the house, or any of his family in fact anymore..its like i have been sent to coventry!] after dd was born i got a bunch of flowers. after about 8 weeks she still hadnt phoned me or come round to see dd. so i phoned her and said do you want to see dd? she said yes and came over. we saw her at xmas. and now this today!
i just want to tell her to leave me and my children alone and to stop playing cruel games. i have tried, i think i was nice to phone her, as she has been a martyr telling her family and friends that i stop her seeing her grandchildren when i do not, even though that would be ideal.
what can i do? is this the way it is until forever?