Anyone end a marriage due that husband is an ineffective parent?

[mulranno]

This is an ongoing problem in our marriage/family. My husband is "unable" to discipline the children - so I end up doing it for him - then he undermines me and I have to do it all again.....so we have a very stressed and badly behaved household because the children see parents in conflict....things are so bad now that my teenager hits me and my husband does not step in to stop this. I feel that I want to leave him and do the parenting alone as he is just selling the kids short. When there is an incident requireing disciple by him he doesnt do it and we end up rowing. We get on well as a couple. But I have lost respect for him.

If you split up he will have access to the kids and then have to parent them on his own some of the time. Which, if his parenting is the problem, doesn't seem like a good solution.

Can you not talk about this and agree a strategy? On the foundation that you both agree you have to be consistent?

Your teenager hitting you is a different problem to your h not being an effective parent. H might be aggravating that problem, but it is a separate problem which you will need to address separately.

How old are they all?? He will have access so what then?

Have you had or would you consider counselling to discuss all this properly in a neutral environment?

Children are 6, 11, 12 & 14. We have been to relate in the past a few times before. I know that he will do what he want when he has them alone but I think then at least I could be consistent - rather than hom undermining me or us rowing all the time when he doesnt do his job. We could go to relate again but I see their childhoods slipping away and have no faith in him ever changing.