Any budding psychologists wanna analyse man behaviour for me?

[CoolPatootieTango]

My boyfriend tells me he wants us to live together but before we commit to get a house together he told me he was hoping I'd ask him to move in with me for a bit so we can get used to living together without making that overall jump into buying/renting a new house. I'm fine with that. So what we've been doing is he's been sleeping at my house usually once a week on a Friday night and spending all Saturday with me (we see each other other times throughout the week too but he actually sleeps over once a week). I suggested that this should increase to a few nights a week before we take the plunge. He agreed.

BUT! whenever I ask him to stay over, he seems reluctant! For example he was here on Sunday night until late, I asked if he wanted to stay, he said no as Monday morning was chaotic and he'd best leave me to it!

He's agreed to stay Wednesday night but didn't seem that enthusiastic about it and he's supposed to be staying Sunday night but he's already started wobbling about that.

Yet when I ask him he says he still thinks we should live together here before we do anything else!

So why the reluctance to stay over? should I just stop asking him to stay and see if he makes the effort to suggest it himself? don't wanna chase him or beg!

I am a bit of a comittmentphobe and he sounds like one, I have to say. (I am female, but still, takes one to know one etc etc)
He sounds like he is stalling, i.e he wants to look like he is saying all the right things re: moving in together, but he is find the reality harder and considerably less appetising.
In your shoes I would back RIGHT off, not to make him change, but just for your own sanity and self esteem. As Cogito said upthread. You are quite right that you shouldn't be begging or persuading him, there shouldn't even be a hint of that because it is demeaning. he should want to be around you lots and if he doesn't then stuff him, frankly. You can do better!

I stay over at DP's place a few times a week. He doesn't come here as his place is bigger and closer to the town centre, so we normally do stuff in town then we walk back to his. But it's a real pain, especially as I study and do sports a few times a week, so sometimes I'm carrying lots of books and changes of clothes.

Plus I often fall behind on study/basic household stuff if I'm spending a lot of time at his - laundry, dealing with mail etc. I can do some of my work at his but obviously don't have access to all my books etc.

Having said that, I do make the effort to stay over even when it takes a bit more effort - I do it because I value our relationship, I can see it needs to progress and I need to invest in time spent together for it to move forward. No relationship can really develop if I just spent one night a week there, so I make sure that we see each other more often. Doesn't sound like your boyfriend is making the effort imo.

ahhh, you've got kids. do you need to get them up and off to school/nursery/ childminder, and does that mean that weekday mornings are a bit chaotic and noisy?
If thats the case then i suggest that he likes the peace and quiet of weekday mornings in his own place, but doesnt want to say in case you take offence.

doesnt look great for the living together though, if that is true