Friendship aaarrrggghhh

[Mallarkey]

I have had a friend for many years. She has always been quite controlling (in all her relationships) but never the less an all round good egg. We are both godmothers to each others children and over the years have been through quite a lot together. This year however, things have changed she hardly rings never remembers birthdays! I ring her then she says she will ring back and doesn't. I have asked if there is a problem no. However, she seems to manage 'virtual' relationships.
What would you do?? I don't want to loose a friend but i feel it is a bit one-sided, as obviously i have invested a lot in the friendship over the years?

Hmm. Sounds like how i was when i was quite depressed. Didnt bother keeping in touch with people - couldnt face it. However, i was happy sat behind a computer screen and keeping up with people that way.

That said, people change and things change and sometimes it just happens.

I would make a last ditch attempt to meet with her - even if it does mean you go out of your way again, but use it as an opportunity to tell her how you feel. She may not realise or she may indeed have other issues that you arent aware of.

If you dont get to the bottom of it or it doesnt change then i think you will just have to let it go.

I was thinking depression too. Virtual relationships are far easier than real ones when you're depressed as it's far easier to act as if everything's normal that way.

I agree with VVV about giving it one more shot. I think I would probably ask her (by email, letter or telephone, if you can't face her) if everything's OK, as you've noticed she's not been herself recently. Tell her how you feel, ask if there's anything you can do, and see how it goes.

When i have asked she just says shes tired. I have also asked have you been busy she says no. When pointed out that she was ringing me back and didn't just laughs. Last year I felt the same and went for tests etc to see what it was- inconclusive, but it seems to be selective says shes meeting up with so and so or going with another friend to somewhere.
Perhaps it's just run it's course, or I've changed and don't want to accept a relationship on 'her terms' but do feel rather sad.

may not be what you are wanting, but if she is coping better with virtual friends etc cant yu become one of these?

maybe email her weekly, with funny things your kids have been doing, gossip etc. say you are doing it as you dont want to lose tuch but understand you are both busy.

maybe even chat to her on msn?

just an idea.