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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel like I am treading on eggshells. This can't go on.

5 replies

eachpeach11 · 19/10/2012 20:29

Just given birth to a gorgeous baby daughter. She wasn't planned. Dh accepted it but I still felt deep down he wasn't happy.
Since the birth he has been really grumpy when dd cries at night etc.
He has also been known to say things like "life was better before dd was born etc"
Not sure where this is going. Any advice on handling appreciated.

OP posts:
dondon33 · 19/10/2012 21:25

He was happy enough to create her, Jesus, you've just given birth and don't need to hear this shit.
Of course things change, especially with your first - you actually forget what 5 mins to yourself looks like and peace and quiet become just a long lost memory but seriously, saying something like "life was better before dd was born" is horrible....Tell him to man up and accept his responsibilities or fuck off like the little boy he sounds like.

Congrats btw xxx

jessalwithlove · 19/10/2012 22:14

Sweetheart he is sulking, men dont sulk boys do. You must be exhausted with a new baby also worrying about him sulking - Congrats on ur new daughter it gets easy it also makes u stronger shes ur lil baby are u gonna let anyone throw their eyes up to heaven because she crys at nite, Ur her protector tell him life is as it is and u are both very lucky to have a baby girl so he better man up and get with it or leave because with all going on u dont have times for his games, two choices Im sorry more ppl didnt get back to give u advise but be strong for ur girl ur her world start as u mean to go on. xxxx

cestlavielife · 19/10/2012 23:03

It is early days .
But babies cry.
Toddlers cry.
Older children have other issues.

Tell him to shape up or ship out for a while and think if he wants to lose you and this beautiful family you have both created.

You don't need a wringer around with a newborn you need someone to support you. Get other support.

Tell him to go talk to someone . Eg a friend who is a parent who can spell out the joys and lows ?

neuroticmumof3 · 19/10/2012 23:18

My exP was similar to this when our DD was born. She was an accident (a happy one afaic). He didn't get any better. Cut your losses sooner rather than later.

olgaga · 19/10/2012 23:23

Yes it's early days, but is there any indication at all that he understands he needs to adjust? Or is he just being completely pigheaded about it and awful to be around.

I think if he's sapping your energy and not supporting you, is there somewhere you can go to get the support you need? Or invite your mum or a sister/friend to stay with you for a little while?

Honestly, as if being a new mum wasn't hard enough. Poor you - hugs and many congratulations.

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