I Hate Mother's Day - and Hate Myself for it!

[harrisey]

Sounds like I am having a moan, and I suppose I am.
My Mum walked out on me (age 12), my dsis (10) and my db (age 4) 24 years ago on the day after mothers day, leaving us with our wonderful dad who brought us up a treat while she ran off with his bf.
Today I had to have a nice mother's day for my kids, (dd1 is 6, ds is 4. dd2 is 2) and it was awful for me. I have been estranged from my mum for a couple of years now for a variety of reasons, not least to do with her leaving. I know I shoud forgive her and move on, but today I was looking at my 4 yo ds and thinking she left my brother at that age and I just cant get my head round it. I have to be in good form for my kids who make a huge effort on mother's day for me, and all I can think of is my selfish mother who chose that day to pack and the next day to leave us.

I sound liek a bitter old cow, I know. Just felt I needed to say something somewhere about it. I am glad I dont talk to her any more, it has made my life so much easier and less stressful, but it still hurts, that she chose that day, that she has damaged the way I enjoy mother's day with my own kids.

Sorry to offload, I just needed to say it somewhere and I knew MN was a safe place to do so.

i totaly understand how you feel&i would feel the same,i often look at my kids and think how can people walk away from theirs
just make the most of your life with the kids
goodluck hunxx

You have every right to be angry about this. But since it's affecting your enjoyment of time with your own kids, do you think letting go might be helpful? Tell me to shut up if that's inappropriate, but learning to ditch those feelings really helped me.

I got tied up in knots about my relationship with my father at one stage. And decided I was sick of it, sick of being wound up by it. He was never going to make it better, and I wanted rid of all that (entirely just) resentment. Actually went and had counselling which did help. Meant I could leave it behind and stop dragging it around with me. Didn't change the way he let us down as children, but did mean it stopped being such a burden.

HTH

Put what your mother did aside - decide that your mum wont get to you any more as you're in charge now. Enjoy your kids & all that you've achieved xxx

I have issues with my mother & have to stop her ruining my life even when it's just in my thoughts.

best wishes xxx