My younger sister is in her mid-thirties and has just announced that it will be of no surprise that she wants to split from her husband of eight years. Ummm - actually it is a complete SHOCK. I know how one-track minded she is and she will analyse the crap out of the situation on her own.
Mum and Dad always treaded on eggshells around her because she couldn't handle arguments and was sensitive to criticism. She blames her current sadness on her marriage. This has been the most solid partnership she has ever had. They have loads of interests in common, are both into fitness, are firm friends and he is a very accomodating partner. They both lead busy lives, but there's nothing so broken that they cannot fix it.
My only criticism of him is that he is incredibly laidback with her and doesn't often take the initiative to make romantic gestures. I could say the same of lots of blokes!
We saw them together a fortnight previously and they were reasonably coupley. Although they both did say she has been unhappy for some time with her new career. She looked quite pale and was somewhat withdrawn. She had recently left a high profile media job which she quit to concentrate on her work in a gym. She came off the pill at the same time. She now finds life unstimulating and doesn't like the attitude of a couple of snobbier clients. (As I said, she is quite sensitive.) She also spends a lot of time on Twitter rather than chatting to him after work - I think this could easily be resolved.
She is going to try and rush for a divorce. I suggested a third party, but she said that is not the case. The only other factor is I believe there is a lot of internal conflict going on in her head about having kids. She said she will not try for a baby as her concern is that they won't make a great team as parents. I could understand that she is a bit frightened and worries about the in-laws, but her husband is a pillar of strength from what we've seen. I feel that she is digging her heels in and isn't ready in herself just yet.
None of the family live locally to her which is another problem. I think she'd prefer it if her MIL - who is a nurse, was at hand.... ( I managed under similar circumstances, but it was hard work.)
Since she came off the pill, there could be a hormonal imbalance, or she may be a bit depressed (a delayed reaction from quitting her old job). I would like to advise her to see a GP to rule these things out first, but am not sure how to put it to her.. she is very stubborn! Once she has had some professional advice I will happily respect her decision, but from what I can make out, she has come to this conclusion on her own.