This is an ex partner, who was really horrible and abusive.
It happened ages ago, but various things going on have meant I have thought about it more recently.
He would grope me at random times (both in the daytime and at night when I was initially asleep). He forced me to have sex on a number of occasions. He did other things sexually that I had asked him not to.
On the occasions where he respected my wish not to have sex, there were still repercussions - for example he wouldn't drive me home to mine if he hadn't received what he wanted.
I would try to break up with him, he would twist everything I said, claiming he did not accept I wanted to break up so we were still together.
He would tell me that I was hard work, no other man would make the effort with me so I would have to stick with him and be grateful.
I stayed with him for over 3 years.
I used to blame myself for how he behaved, and suddenly I no longer do, which should be a positive thing shouldn't it? But now I feel very angry with him, and have no outlet for that as we are not in touch. I don't want to be in touch with him, but I wish I could somehow get my own back - although I know I can't. What do people usually do with their anger once they realise how badly they were treated?
I suppose I should just be grateful I escaped him, but I am still so outraged with him.
And my parents do not know how he treated me - I have DDs and worry about them meeting someone abusive.