Am I overreacting to be upset about this?

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

I started dating a family friend a few months ago and because of the close ties we said we would keep it quiet at first and see how we got on. The other week we spoke about it and decided we weren't ready to tell people but no more sneaking around, avoiding people but if we were asked we wouldn't lie. A couple of hours ago I had an incident at the pub (no alcohol involved) and left visibly shaken and upset. My nd was walking in with a group of he's friends as I walked out. He said not a word and I haven't heard a peep from him since.

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

He sounds like a twat,, tbh

stay away from the family connection, it doesn't automatically make him a decent guy

[Feckbox]

OP Have you spoken to him yet and ascertained whether he was aware you were upset?

[ThereGoesTheYear]

You shouldn't have to teach this guy that if a friend/lover/whatever is upset the decent thing to do is check they're ok and comfort them. My 2yo knows to do this. You're worth more than that.

[TeaBrick]

I'm sure the op's self esteem will be immeasurably increased by having people point out her typos to her. Way to go supportive mumsnetters!

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I heard from he's mum yesterday afternoon asking if I was ok as he had told her what happened yet when I spoke to him last night he claimed he had no idea I was upset or that anything had happened. I called him on he's (his?) lies and ended it. I haven't heard from him today.

Hissy I'm 29 and have only just realized how messed up my childhood was and how messed up I am because of it. Realising is the first step obviously I just now need to figure out where to go from here.

Thanks for your concern Tea but I long ago came to realize that whilst I'm reasonably intelligent and articulate in RL I cannot translate it into writing.

[MyDonkeysAZombie]

good luck Slightly (was on earlier but have name changed for Halloween).

[TeaBrick]

Glad to hear it Slightly. Hope things work out for you

[HissyByName]

Good for you love!

I only realised how messed up my family was AFTER i'd been in abusive relationship for 10yrs.

You're way ahead of me! :) leaving my ex was the starter, my family the main course!

Glad you binned him! Now pop along to the Stately Homes thread and let's see if you can't get some help sorting all this out.

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

I've royally screwed up. I haven't heard from him since Saturday and haven't been able to get him out my head. I've been resisting the temptation to contact him. So I wrote out an email of everything I was thinking and feeling to get it out then delete. And pressed send by mistake. Oh fuck!

[needsomeperspective]

Perhaps next time you write something "just to get it all out" you should do it in Word or else not put the persons address in the address line so if you "accidentally" press send it won't go anywhere.

I wouldn't worry about it. If you're broken up anyway it can't do any more harm can it.

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

Look, if you wanted to get it all out you could have done it with pen and paper.

Well only you know what you said in the mail so what are you hoping for in his reaction?
You know yourself this isn't a real relationship. If he was happy to be with you he would be after all this time.
A few weeks to see how ye were together I could understand but months?
He is taking you for a ride. Literally.

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. One can always look back on a mistake and say shoulda done this or coulda done that. At 1am this morning after lots of wine reading old emails seemed like a good idea as did typing out how I felt. Logging out with the message unsent was obviously my best idea of the night. Logging in this morning on my phone to delete everything and hitting send was obvious my worst mistake.

Of corse it will change nothing. Its drunken ramblings of upset, anger and loneliness. But it will make it harder next time I see him to face him whilst wanting to crawl away into a hole and die of embarrassment

[HissyByName]

You've done nothing to be embarrassed about. Shrug it all off and blame the vino!

Don't sweat it love!

what out of interest DID you say

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

But.....

If you are in a relationship you would not be embarrassed to share your thoughts and feelings.

Has he replied?