Boyfriend slept with an escort

[AlisonL1981]

Hi ladies, this is my first post, I'm looking for a bit of advice and support. I found out tonight that my boyfriend slept with an escort in August. I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and devastated. He doesn't know I know. Any advice? X

Yes, I'm too scared to ring it. I'm going to have a shower, sort myself out and if he's not back I'll call to find out where he is. At least then I'm ready to leave

If he has left his mobile phone at home, I can assure you he has another one....

Thanks for listening ladies. I probably am trying to look for excuses. Wishing it wasn't happening. My life has just fallen apart around me.

I think sometimes downplaying is a coping mechanism

After 11 years and a pregnancy this man has gone out of his way to deceive you and pay for sex with a stranger. How utterly foul of him. V sorry op.

Hate to make things worse, but early morning sessions are very popular with sex workers.

I'd have his bag packed and waiting for him, too.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP but please stop downplaying the seriousness of this - if he slept with an escort in August then I'm assuming this was at the same time as he was clearly having unprotected sex/TTC with you.

Whether he knew about the baby or not is irrelevant - he's not suddenly going to become a different, non-cheating man because you're now pg. You've been together 11yrs, I would hope that would be enough to stop him in the first place.

Pack his bags and throw him out - personally, this would be a deal breaker for me and there'd be no going back. First time, hundredth time, it wouldn't matter, once is always once too many.

If you would leave him if you werent pregnant, you should anyway.

There is a boundary issue- will you tolerate escorts in your life partners life or not?

He is also showing a funny attitude to fatherhood, isnt he?

I hope you make a good decision for yourself, but I couldnt justify this.

In that situation, I think the only sensible thing to do is dump him and move on. Personally I would not tether myself to him with a baby either, but that aspect is obviously a decision that you need to make on your own.

Good luck, it's a horrible situation.

So sorry you're going through this.
You're understandably shocked and devastated Alison but at some point you have to face reality. He's done it.
Cheating is cheating, I agree with Dragon ^ - for me it wouldn't matter if it was the first or the hundredth time, for me it would now be over.

If he cared about your unborn baby, then why hasn't he willingly told you of his sordid meeting/s, so that you can be tested for STI's?

I'd be suspicious of the "left phone" too, is he usually forgetful or could there possibly be something he doesn't want interrupting?

Get some real life support from family/friends and take care of yourself x

Thank you again for the advice ladies. He denied seeing her. Said he couldn't go through with it and her number on his phone was him calling to cancel. Said he was drunk when he did it and when he came to his senses and realised what he was doing he didn't want to do it anymore. I've come down to my mums for a few days, taken some time off work to get some space.

You do realise how unlikely that is?

Not necessarily a fib, it's down to you as to how much you trust him.

It might take time to pull things back together but I wouldn't throw it all away just yet.

Hugs xxx

He's lying.

Same old script: number on phone as calling to cancel, drunk, couldn't go through with it. blah blah blah.

No doubt he's very convincing.

No doubt he's lying.

Argee with most the ladies here.

If i found out my ex paid for sex(but denies it). Id have his bags packedoutside and locked the fucking door!

You must feel like shit, its even worse your pregnant. Go get a check up, and make sure your baby is okay.

He is going to deny it, all men do when they are found out the truth. Your oblivious to his antics and he can fool you. 11 years for some slapper isn't the best. But you love him, you got to ask yourself.

If he loved you, would he really do it?

I agree so much with OP saying the pregnancy wont change a thing, he will beg. Oh i wont do it again, but he shouldn't of done it in the first place

Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me!

OP , so sorry you're going through this.

Am glad you're at your mothers. Am afraid I roils t believe him. If he's capable of doing this to you after 11 years it's probably just the tip of the iceberg.

How do you feel today?

Chaos please note this thread is from last October. Thanks to jim above spamming us for an escort site it's brought an old thread back to the top.

Old thread

Providing the link presumably puts that site further up a search engime's listings if someone searches for Escorts. Presumably in time the messages will be deleted.

How horrible for you OP. I am sorry.

Unfortunately, I believe that a man who does this once is very likely to do it again, and is not worth your time and investment. If you stay with him, you will be miserable and feel trapped. I think you are better cutting him out of your life (in so far as that is possible with a child).

please stop bumping the thread folks