DP out all night

[Reallybloodysad]

He had a work do.
He is still not home and phone is off. I rang it again just now and it did ring but no answer.

We have a six month old DD.

It's not good is it? What do I do when he eventually rolls home?

Thats so not acceptable. I would wait till he is sober and then ask him where he was but more importantly what he was thinking.

So not on.

Sorry- no I don't see a long term future with him. We've been together for three years. He is aggressive and weak.

I think telling to fuck off permanently would be a good idea

He would fight nasty. I can't lose DD, she is my whole world.

Ah. X-posts. If there is somewhere you can go, I would. Give yourself some headspace and weigh up your options.

I also no longer fancied my ex and, to be honest, treated him with contempt a lot of the time. It wasn't a positive atmosphere for either of us, and that was without children.

You won't lose her.

Just get yourself away from h

Going on your last post my advice is to walk. If you are not happy in your relationship how can your child be happy?

Your child deservce more
your deserve to be happy
this is not the type of relationship you want your child to think is normal and healthy.

Go and stay with your mum. Don't tell him you're leaving him though, say you're just going away for a few days to get some space - give yourself a bit of time to make plans and prepare for whatever it is you decide to do.

Such men often use the child as a weapon against the mother.

You can still walk away even now you have a child. It won't do her any favours to be brought up in such a poisonous atmosphere.

Time to call this a day now. Seek legal advice to establish exactly where you stand.

"Sorry to hear he is being nasty. It's just the drink talking."

Absolute rubbish - when someone is drunk, their real personality comes out, this is who he is underneath, which is borne out by OP's further posts.
Get out now, while your baby is young enough not to remember her father abusing her mother.

Thank you all for the good advice and for being so kind.

I'm going to go to bed with DD and try and get some sleep. He's passed out on the couch.

You have provided yourself with your own answer. Don't waste years with someone you don't want to be with.
Are you married? If not , good. Much easier to escape. Good luck

Is there somewhere else you could go temporarily, rather than to your mum's?

I only say this because if he's the type to fight nasty, he could use you 'disappearing off overseas with DD' against you. I used to be married to a very nasty fighter, so I speak from the point of view of having to second-guess everything I do wrt the DC so that he can't turn things against me.

You're breastfeedng your DD - there's no way anyone but you woud get custody of her in the event of a split. x

I'm not suggesting that. I just know how hard it is to fight against someone who plays dirty.

I think the answer to dealing with someone unreasonable is to protect yourself and dd but in a way that is exceptionally reasonable. If you behave totally reasonably it highlights their total unreasonableness. I don't think you will lose dd. You want to be away from him so you need to split up as he is treating you horribly by the sounds of it. Going to stay with your mum can't be a long term solution as that would be seen as taking dd away from her dad. I think you should go in order to get some space and some support but you must make it clear that this is temporary and you will be back in the country although not back in the relationship. Don't be tempted to allow him to fear he will lose her or say that he did. Set him a timescale and tell him you need a break from his presence completely in order to deal with the end of the relationship and then go.