"Why you shouldn't listen to friends " DM article

[MaureenCognito]

But god a lot of the allegedly bad advice mirrors crap spouted on here!

What do you think ? www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2215867/Dont-share-marital-woes-friends--talk-divorce--tips-saving-marriage-relationship-counsellor-Andrew-G-Marshall.html

Although unconvinced by "keys to turn his head"!! Obv it's woman's fault man has affair!
Do think mn is very one sided though and can suggest petty tit for tat actions that inflame events

Good lord! terrible! Men don't have friends and women have too many? Not in my experience and why would that be? What could gender possibly have to do with friendships? And like you say very put up and shut up and woman blamey... Agree about the tit for tat advice though although I think more often than not it isn't taken and the other thing I hate - snooping.

Think MN is pretty good on convincing not to confront OW.

Well who'd guess that was written by a man! Bit like something out of the 1950s!

He has a point about some people when describing problems and twist event to look blameless or omit their bad behaviour, so the advice they are given is inaproiate, been on the receiving end of abuse by friends of a dick trying to create a witch hunt like that myself.

I'd turn it around a little and tell married friends that if they don't want to hear me say 'leave the bastard' would they mind not boring me rigid with every little crappy misdemeanour their husband has done, making such a big deal of it and thinking it passes for interesting conversation??!!! So often the very people who spend ages telling me how I ought to get a boyfriend (I have several but it's NOTB) then go on to cataloguing all the terrible faults of their own relationships - like that's going to convince me my single status is a mistake! I've realised, over the years, that the correct response is to smile and say 'oh dear, how awful, you poor thing' because they have no intention of breaking free. But sometimes I confess to lobbing in a 'why do you stay with him if he's so terrible??'. Not to 'validate my own choice' as it says in the article, but more to shut them up. :)

A goading friend is not your friend.

The people that moan and moan about their lot, bad marriage, seldom change things, they like to moan and look the martyr.

I notice how he doesn't in any way suggest that the man should step up and do his share with the house and childcare, just implies that no matter how exhausted the wifey is at the end of the day she should still 'put out' otherwise it's her fault if her husband goes elsewhere.

Cogito, I love you!

I think friends can give terrible advice. Based on own experience and their designs on an h. Know of two divorces where best mate moved in.

So why ask their advice? This is the thing. It's not so much 'don't listen to friends' as 'don't wash your dirty linen in public if you don't want to hear others' opinions'.