A long, long time of getting told that black is white, and white is black...

[lobsterclaw]

...I've been in a long term relationship for ages, now in thirties, it was dysfunctional and he always denied things he'd said to me which was very confusing and has really messed up my head, to be frank.

It turned physical and I've decided to leave but I'm still very fragile, about to go on a course for people in this situation, any other ideas? I really need to become stronger.

Come and join us.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1583744-Support-for-those-in-Emotionally-Abusive-Relationship-12

ah, arth you got here first!

The behaviour that you describe is called "gas-lighting" after the film "Gaslight" where a man drives his wife to believing she is insane by denying the evidence of her own senses......

read lots, it will make you feel less alone and less mad (you are not mad) as you remember and process all the things he did. My personal recommendation would be Lundy Bancroft "Why does he do that?-inside the mind of angry and controlling men" which you can order from Amazon

This website is also worth a look www.hiddenhurt.co.uk

And WELL DONE for deciding to get out.

I agree big well done

Freedom programme is fab, can be done in person or online for free here

www.onespace.org.uk/elearning/courses/freedom-programme