Will tonight be the end ? Hand holding please

[Istonightthenight]

My dh has abused me verbally when drunk. I had a couple of threads on here over the years. I had some wonderful advice and support.
He had not done it far ages and promises faithfully he won't ever do it again.
He has gone out for a drink tonight for the first time in 2 years since he last did it.
If he does it again it is over. The children heard last time and it was awful and I will def end our marriage if he ever gets like that again.
Please hold my hand and pray he honours his promise and has a nice evening and is fine when he comes home later.
I am nervous.

All the best.

Nope, you don't have to speak. You might be invited to but we absolutely respect it if you don't want to. Some attendees I have never heard speak & I've been going 5 years!

You don't deserves to feel anxious about someone else's behaviour & you have the right to a good & happy life

His actions are out of your hands. Your response is only in your hands. Wishing you the very best x

Hope he's home and everything's ok.

I am in bed now. Will try to sleep.
No sign yet but I am not worried too much.

Good, I'm really pleased for you.

Perhaps when the time is right you can talk to him about just how anxious you were this evening.

urgh, misread, thought you said he was home and everthing was okay...

Yes, do make it clear to him that even if all is well when he arrives home, how his Monday soiree has fucked your own evening up from start to finish

He is home

hope it's all ok...

He came upstairs and told me he loves me in a nice way not a pissed way !
He is now making a cup of tea.
He is a bit drunk but not too bad at all.
Thanks for holding my hand tonight. Maybe he will keep his promises.

I will tell him don't worry.

Good luck OP...hope things are ok

Good luck Istonight, keep safe.

Glad he is home OP.
Time to get some sleep, time for talking is tomorow
Good luck

I am ready to hold your hand and help pull you right out of this, you shouldn't have to live your life this way.

I hope you are back in the morning, I'll be looking out for you.

If you don't get this sorted though, you'll be worried every time he goes out. For the rest of your and your kids lives? Please don't. The time to plan your next move is not in the middle of emotional trauma.

Don't wait for the next time.

Glad he is home, but as other posters have said, you need to tell him how you have felt this evening worrying about the possible outcome.

Thinking of you.

Thinking of you, good luck.

Glad things went well last night. X

How are you today? Sometimes there's an emotional 'hangover' after a traumatic evening like that

Thanks for asking about me.
I am ok today pleased he behaved like a normal person !
I realise it will take me years to trust 100% that he will not get nasty.

The Justin lee Collins guilty verdict is a bonus. It helps that verbal abuse is taken seriously.

Glad to hear you're doing well. It might not get to 100% but as long as it's something you can live with, then it's do-able. Well done!

(Did you speak with OH about the JLC verdict? Just nosey )

Yes we talked about it tonight and he said he JLC deserved all he got as no one should abuse their partner.

In a way his obvious ability to not abuse me any more is quite disturbing as it makes the actual abuse seem more kind of on purpose. I am not being very clear.
If he can now choose not to abuse me why did he choose to do it in the past ?