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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

cheating ex!

4 replies

10caz77 · 30/09/2012 04:34

I have just found out that my ex had a child to someone else while with me, should i be angry, we split up 5 yrs ago and have 2 children together, we split after i found out he had a child behind my back, i tried to make the relationship work for 2 years after i found out about this child but i have now found out that he has another 1, from another women 1 year after i found out about the first, i am so angry, since splitting up i have tried to be friendly for our kids sakes but now i feel it was pointless i am so angry that he could of done the same thing again to me after how bad i took the first child, do u think this is normal for me to feel like this?

OP posts:
MsKayGee · 30/09/2012 09:48

It's perfectly normal and totally understandable to feel like you do.

Does he have any contact with the child? Will your children have any contact with their half sibling?

You could have it out with him, but in all likelihood, all you're going to get from him is lies, pathetic attempts at justification, defensiveness. You might get an apology, will that make you feel any better?

Tbh, in your situation and especially if there's no contact with the child/children, if you're managing to be on friendly terms for your kids sake, I'd just breathe a huge sigh of relief and thank my lucky stars that I was no longer in a relationship with such a gobshite and let it go.

Leverette · 30/09/2012 09:49

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LizLemon007 · 30/09/2012 09:54

No, your reaction is normal. Different entirely, I discovered about ten years ago that a bf I had 22 years ago is now gay. I was knocked sideways for weeks. That I'd been a stooge in his charade. Really annoyed me.

In your case, it's worse because your children now have this blood relative. You can accept it but it's never going to not matter. It will always matter one way or the other. HOpefully for good. Like other posters say, you're well shot of a cheating man that brought another child into World when he had two young kids with you.

10caz77 · 30/09/2012 13:14

thank you i feel loads better was really confused at my feelings as it was so long ago, but glad that you all think it is normal. I dont think i can continue with being friendly towards him but he is my childrens father so i will try to be civil the more i think about it anyway it is always him needing something from me and i never got anything back, he does nothing that is positive for me or my children!!

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