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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why are some women such back stabbing bitches??

27 replies

juicychops · 29/09/2012 19:44

this is why i prefer the company of men to women because then you don't get all the 'drama'

im sick to death of it now. Im glad i don't have many female friends - the ones i do have i know are close and good friends. the few i have just 'written off' over the past couple of weeks have proved to be nothing more than two faced back stabbing cows who just jump at the chance of being not just involved, but smack bang in the centre of someone else's personal business.

WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

OP posts:
Empusa · 29/09/2012 19:44

Same reason some men are I guess Hmm

ChooChooLaverne · 29/09/2012 19:47

None of my female friends are like this. Maybe you're just choosing the wrong ones.

anairofhope · 29/09/2012 19:49

You sound very bitter :(

LadyWidmerpool · 29/09/2012 19:52

You sound partial to drama yourself.

springydaffs · 29/09/2012 19:53

I don't think you sound bitter. There's a big difference between anger and bitterness .

while I'm here - I know exactly what you mean. ime men (very generally) are far more straightforward. Like you, I find male friends much more refreshing. I never know what's going on with women tbh. Most of the time, anyway.

MrsWolowitz · 29/09/2012 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

springydaffs · 29/09/2012 19:58

If my friends were like my sisters I'd lose all hope in the female gender

MrsWolowitz · 29/09/2012 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

qo · 29/09/2012 20:04

I have 2 close female friends but as both live 3 hours away, I rarely get to see them, once maybe twice a year.

My best and only friend local to me is male, I've had various other female friends over the years but none have really "stuck" (apart from one who was like my sister, she sadly passed away 8 years ago)

Like you OP, I've found I needed to distance myself from a lot of my female Friends over the years, it'snot that I don't like them per se it's just that so many of them live for and thrive on drama, I refuse to get caught up in that.

qo · 29/09/2012 20:06

X-post MrsW, my best friend is male but I'm not "one of the lads" - more like he's one of the girls!!

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel · 29/09/2012 20:08

Would a better title not be why do a form unhealthy friendships?

MrsWolowitz · 29/09/2012 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWolowitz · 29/09/2012 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateHarshPants · 29/09/2012 20:13

Yup. There are some very unpleasant people in the world. I have met rather a lot of totally arseholy bastards and quite a few grade A bitches. And i've met some smashing blokes and fabulous women. I don't prefer one gender over the other because of it and I don't think you should either. You'll miss out on some amazing friendships if you dismiss one half of the population based on a few people.

If the women that you are interacting with are so horrible, then find some new friends. Cos there are a lot of fab people out there.

SomersetONeil · 29/09/2012 20:17

And yet here you are, posting in a near all-women website, which provides amazing support, friendship, conversation, insight, advice, intelligence and laughs.

Go figure.

I'm sure you'll interpret this as bitchy, but in my experience of the world, women who get on with women tend to be much more genuine, secure and generally just better craic than women who actively dislike female friendships and blanket prefer the company of men.

caitelizabeth · 29/09/2012 20:18

I know somebody like this. She's always been vile about other people, making sure they don't suspect in the slightest. Thrives on drama and lies. I stupidly thought I was one of the few people she didn't seem to mind but discovered from other people, only recently, that she's been equally horrid and back stabbing about me.

Please don't give up, though. They're not easy to come by, but I have some (albeit few) lovely and genuine male and female friends. I'd say that you find the sort of person you described in both sexes.

xkittyx · 29/09/2012 20:29

I have certainly never noticed women as a rule to be any worse than men. What a generalisation. I had a bad experience with a couple of friends last year, one was male and one female. Wankers are wankers, really.

juicychops · 29/09/2012 20:30

i didn't mean i only like men and not women at all, i have 3 close friends, all women. the rest are just 'mates'. but the male 'mates' are much easier to get on with than the female 'mates' because like springydaffs said, they are more straight forward and in my experience less judgemental/bitchy/generally mean. Im just venting here because of crap that is going on involving a few now ex-'mates' and how the bitchiness won't end because they just seem to thrive on it and wont let it die down!!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/09/2012 20:31

maybe it's you maybe it's the company you keep
I distrust women who gush they prefer men to women
given you have so few female pals, I'd suggest the common denominator is you rather than them

TurnipCake · 29/09/2012 20:32

Juicy - what has happened to make you feel like this?

I'm lucky to have a wonderful mix of male and female friends. I was also stabbed in the back by a woman who was 'one of the lads' and preferred the company of men to women because women were too 'catty' and 'bitchy' - of course, she was out knowingly pulling men who had girlfriends, t'sisterhood wasn't going to take too kindly to behaviour like that.

I'm sure deep down you don't want to be one of those women who keep a hareem of male 'friends' (who just really want to lay the pipe down) and cut themselves off from connecting with people on account of their gender.

TurnipCake · 29/09/2012 20:34

Oh, and the bitchiest people I knew were my ex and his two male cronies. They would even approach me on their nights out and slag one another off behind each other's backs Hmm

Down-to-Earth people with integrity and an honest demeanour aren't gender-specific Smile

ScandinavianPrincess · 29/09/2012 20:37

I know it sounds geeky, but maybe try meeting people in a different setting, join a book group or try something different. Also, give people a chance even if they don't look like the sort of person you usually get along with.
There are lots of gobshites and gossips of both sexes, but there are some good people too.

TurnipCake · 29/09/2012 20:39

Oh, and the wisdom of The Simpsons Grin

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 29/09/2012 20:40

I have some absolutely fantastic female friends and I think you must be unlucky if you really find women to be bitches or backstabbing. My friends certainly aren't. Maybe you're attracted to drama llamas, so maybe examine your reasons for being friends with some of them in the first place.

My best and oldest friend is male, but thats not because he's easier to understand, its because he's a decent bloke and we have a lot of shared interests that keep the friendship lively and ongoing.

Empusa · 29/09/2012 21:02

"Down-to-Earth people with integrity and an honest demeanour aren't gender-specific"

That.

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