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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Good friend gossiping about me

3 replies

juniorant · 29/09/2012 17:32

I have over the years confided in a good friend about my marriage. I believed us to be "best" friends.
The other day another very good friend told me her husbands boss said he thought me and my husband were seperated.
The only link was my "best friend" I dismissed this as impossible not believing my good friend would talk about me to the wife of my other friends boss.
It now seems this is indeed the case.
I don't want to confront her as this could put my friends husband in trouble with his boss.
We have been friends for 10 years though so maybe its a misunderstanding.
I don't think so though.
Should I say something or just leave things - feel like i don't want to talk to anyone again!!

OP posts:
sades101 · 29/09/2012 17:59

I think you should bring it up, you don't have to do it in a way that would put anyones nose out of joint, but talking is always the best way forward. Otherwise you'll never feel comfortable around her again, which would be a shame for you and i'm certain for her!! Pluck up the courage, you only live once and there is no point in wasting your life away wishing you had said something!! good luck xx

dondon33 · 29/09/2012 18:57

I would most definitely say something to her and wouldn't give a hoot who's nose I put out of joint.
What you've told her was in confidence and she has obviously no respect for you. How do you think it could possibly be a misunderstanding? I've tried to think how...but No! she's actually been divulging your problems/issues to some one else or how the hell would they know.
If for example she was giving the bosses wife some advice and was saying she knew a friend who'd been through the same thing (bear in mind I don't know what you've told her) how would the boss know it was you?
It's up to you what you want to do about it but I know that I couldn't remain friends with her.
It's very hurtful when you find out you can't trust people that you thought were close friends.
Take care x

Heleninahandcart · 29/09/2012 22:59

I would bring it up. She could have gossiped but as she has been a good friend for a long time it is more likely that someone, somewhere has misunderstood something or made assumptions. If this friendship is worth it to you, clear the air and then you can make a decision if you want to continue with her.

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