Boyfriend seems more into me since meeting my kids. Is this normal?

[TeaBagFace]

A couple of weeks ago, boyfriend met my kids. (12 and 14 years old).

We had a good relationship before this but he could be a bit 'cool' with me sometimes, seemed wary about talking too much about the future and went on about taking things slow.

Well the meeting with the kids went well and he seems so much more into me since. His texts throughout the day have increased, his pet names for me have increased and he keeps sending me messages indicating that he's thinking about me a lot when we're not together. He's now started talking about future plans for the rest of this year, next year and after a few drinks (usually! sometimes when sober) talks about us getting a place together.

Is it normal for a person's feelings to INCREASE once they've seen the whole package so to speak? Obviously I'm very pleased about it but just curious as to why he might have suddenly become more 'into' it? So much so that we were due to go out together as a couple in a few weeks - and he asked me to take the kids along (fair, so appropriate!) and seemed disappointed when I said they were out with their friends. Now it turns out I have to take one of them and he's pleased about it.

The kids think he's great also.

Why all the faces? It was just a question from the OP! People don't need to be in dire straits of denial before they post here...

If the roles were reversed and you hadn't met his DC, wouldn't you have held back a bit until you knew what you were facing? What if DC had turned out to be less than lovely.

I do question a little why you wanted to post here though so either you do have a niggling doubt about something or hopefully, you are feeling smug loved up and stealth boasting

"So much so that we were due to go out together as a couple in a few weeks - and he asked me to take the kids along (fair, so appropriate!) and seemed disappointed when I said they were out with their friends. Now it turns out I have to take one of them and he's pleased about it. "

^ THIS bothers me.

Most parents who are dating are mad keen to get NON parent time together. Agreed getting everyone together helps on childcare etc, but if something is tripping you a little, LISTEN.

I understand a bit about him being let closer into your life so therefore would feel closer to you, but something about that paragraph has unsettled me.

How long have you known this guy? Have you met his kids?

What susie, AF and MadAbout asked.

If you've no concerns, why the thread? Don't get that bit.

Your OP doesn't read as though you're 100% convinced, even if you want to be.

I would be on high alert for red flags if I were you. And trusting anyone you've known a short space of time 100% with your children, in light of behaviour you're questioning is just crazy.

I would be worried tbh if they were younger kids incapable of speaking out, or being more easily coerced into silence if anything sinister was going to go on.

As they're older, i would say he was worried about meeting nightmare teens and therefore held back a bit until he knew they liked him and he liked them.

Its very nerve wracking meeting potential SDC's :)

Maybe talk to him about it, carefully. Not in a confrontational way, ask him what he expected before he met them and comment on how he seems more relaxed now he has and see what he says?

If a friend said to me 'Oh my boyfriend's been so much more attentive, affectionate and committed since he's met my dc's' I'd think 'wonderful, that no doubt means he was anxious about meeting them, likes them, feels comfortable and wants to take it to the next stage'. I simply would not find it odd at all - and trust me I'm a cynical old boot at the best of times.

So the only thing worrying is that you are asking if this is worrying.

When you say you are don't mean he has dark intentions - what do you mean then? What other negatives are there to draw or worry about?

Pagwatch Very very good advice and so sorry for what you went through

Why are you posting?