Hello, I'm hoping some of you ladies can give me some advice.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since June this year.
He's often been jealous and if for example I don't answer the phone straight away or I'm out when he calls me, he'll really question me as to where I've been, who I'm with and what I'm doing.
He tries to pass it off as him only joking but I know he's not and I've asked him to stop and told him it upsets me but he still continues.
These past two weeks he's been worse than normal. Last Sunday he finished work and was supposed to be coming over to my house to spend the evening with me.
My daughter (3 yrs old) was up at 5am that morning and I was exhausted so went for a lie down with her on Sunday afternoon and didn't answer his 5pmish call until I woke up at 6pm and heard the phone ringing again.
When I answered I could tell he'd been drinking and he was questioning me as to whether I was alone, why I hadn't answered the phone and he didn't believe anything I was telling him. I told him I could tell he was drunk and wasn't going to continue the conversation with him accusing me of being a cheat etc and hung up on him.
He then appeared at my door at 9.40pm by this time he was steaming drunk. My daughter had woken up again as she had been ill and was sitting watching TV with me in the living room. He even went and asked her if I'd spent the day with another man!
I put my daughter to bed then told him he had to leave as I was going to bed too and wanted to be alone and that I'd speak to him in the morning.
He left and I went into the living room and went on my PC then heard a knock on the door. It was him again, he'd spied on me through my living room window and seen I was on the PC and was accusing me of chatting to men on the internet. I pushed him out of the door and locked the door behind me and he shouted through my window that I was a liar etc.
The next day he was extremely apologetic, said he'd acted like a tosser and it wouldn't happen again, yet on Saturday we spent the evening together whilst my children were at my parents and I wanted to go to bed as I was feeling really ill with stomach ache. I tucked the duvet under my stomach to try stop it hurting and he said I was clearly only doing that to create distance between us. He said it was obvious I was seeing someone else and that he'd go through my mobile phone and all my e-mails and that he'd find me out.
I couldn't be bothered with him hassling me so said I was going out for a walk and to clear my head. He threw me onto the bed and told meif I attempted to leave the house he'd rip all my clothes up so I'd have nothing to go out in.
It's my birthday on Friday this week and I've organised to have some drinks with friends in a local pub and I've told him I don't want him going as I want to spend time with my friends and I don't want him causing a scene and upsetting me in front of my friends which I strongly believe he will (he's called me a slag and a slut in front of a pub full of people before now for no reason whatsoever!)
He now says I'm being hurtful and is thinking that the reason I don't want him going is because there's going to be another man there or because I have a male stripper booked and all sorts of crazy things. He's told me that if I don't invite him he'll come into the pub and kick off with everybody there and smash the place up. Then later on he's said he won't kick off he was just saying that.
I don't know what to do and am seriously thinking of just cancelling the whole thing. It's just making me feel unbearably anxious and unhappy. When it was his birthday he went out with his mates without me and I just told him to go off and enjoy himself. Why can I not be treated the same way?
Sorry for the tremendously long post and thank you for taking the time to read through it all.