Oh no! What have I done wrong... I feel like I've buggered things up but not sure how!

[Squeegle]

I feel like a bit stupid.... And am looking for sage MN advice.

I have split up from my partner about 6 months ago, but things were extremely difficult for a long time before that. Basically he was an alcoholic, so for a long time I have been doing things on my own and looking after our two DCs, they are 8 and 10 now. I don't have family nearby, and because I work full time, I don't know that many local friends. And those I do have I have become a bit isolated from as I used to avoid social occasions because of drunken partner.

And so now I am feeling rather lonely, work is probably where I fit in best and where I feel happiest.

So....earlier this year I realised I quite liked someone at work. He isn't in the same team, but I occasionally work with him, by no means on a daily or even weekly basis. He lives quite near me, and I know he's split up from his wife. ( we're both late 40s by the way).

So we have had several chats about local stuff, schools and the like, kids etc. in the course of these chats I realised I quite liked him. Fast forward to around 3 weeks ago.

Email from him 5.30 on a Friday night inviting me to his for a drink over weekend.

I said I was busy with kids but would like to another time. Fine, he texted back, anytime. Then on the Sunday night I texted " sorry re the weekend, wd love to have a drink sometime, when is good for you?"

He replied ( a day later), with "am in hospital for op this week let's sort when I recover". Ok I said good luck.

He is now back from hospital- first day today.... Have not heard a peep. Feel like I buggered it up, was I too keen? Feel like I'm too old to play games, but also feel let down, as I thought there was something there.

Am fed up, feeling old and fed up. Need advice and a kick up the arse to tell me to belt up.

his taking his time might be an indicator that he wants something more serious

I thought I'd done a fairly credible job of acting as if I'd lost my mind Pollyanna on another thread but, in seeing no contact as possible evidence that he's intent on forming a serious relationship with the OP, you've raised the optimism bar way beyond my reach over

Maybe he's had it 'all taken away' sarah

Yup! That could be it sarah. And that's probably true- but wouldnt you have thought he would say hi anyway!?!?

But you could be onto something, the op may have affected his mojo!

Oh God I didn't mean to raise the optimism bar, I just wanted to say that sometimes men take their time!

I knew my DP for four years before we started to 'like' each other. Even after he decided he had fallen for me it took him two months (finally coming over to my house for the weekend three weeks in a row) before he actually made a move, and he made his mood in the form of a text once he got home on the Sunday night, he was so increadibly inadequate at actually making the first move incase I didn't feel the same way!

Turns out he had always fancied me, for the whole four years before he started dating. All our friends knew too, it was just me that was oblivious

maybe has had penis enlargement in anticipation and is waiting for it all to heal up

Made me chuckle izzy. Re Pollyanna take on no contact!!! Us girls we read romance into anything....

You too sarah!

seriously though OP men don't always just text to say 'hi' in the same way women do (massive generalisation I know, before I get flamed!) he's probably waiting till he can actually fix up a date?

Had his adenoids/tonsils out and can't speak?
Both hands in plaster and hasn't yet mastered the art of texting with his feet?
Has matters other than having a drink with a colleague on his mind?

There's not a lot of mileage to be gained from trying to fathom virtual strangers, Squeegle. They are what they are and they do what they do - or don't as the case may be

Could be you'll hear from him within the coming week but, if not, his loss.

Cheers ladies, you have made me laugh. Helped me put it back in perspective.