I will try and keep this brief.
A very good friend of mine, who I care for dearly, has had some (undiagnosed) stress / mental health issues and also has very low self esteem.
She was offered counselling with the stress etc but has not taken it up as she is worried it will 'open a can of worms' and, tbh, I am not sure I can help much with that side of things anyway (well, I can but not like a professional can, if that makes sense.) However, she also talks a lot about how she has no social life and also needs to lose weight so I am trying to help with both those things and will invite her over a lot (when we have friends over too, or when we don't) for dinner or drinks but also to, on a more healthy note, for long walks (we live in the country and she is 9 miles away.)
Without exception, every time she has cried off (often at the last minute and often with a flimsy excuse) as I think she finds the idea of mixing with people daunting (fair enough, but it's also often just me) and I am running out of ideas of ways to help her. I cannot relate to the anxiety stuff, but I do passionately think that going for long walks, for example, would help her clear her head (instead she stays at home and drinks a bottle of wine a night) and the subsequent health / weight loss benefits would hopefully make a big difference to her self esteem too.
She also, and this is very tricky, seems to cling onto her DS (who is nearly 12) and either uses him as an excuse not to do things (he is too tired / he is upset - I am yet to see evidence of this child's apparently emotional side) or that she can't do various things as he 'needs her instead.' While it is exasperating to watch - won't go into vast detail as can go on for ages, but basically he is VERY pandered and babied to the point where he does NOTHING for himself, including run his own baths or wash himself - I would not criticise the way she brings her child up as it's none of my business, but do think that she is using him as a crutch. As he is now at secondary school I think he will soon start to want to be more independant and not want to spend so much time with his mother, which will put my friend into even more of a decline.
I want to help her but am running out of ideas, and also obviously cannot criticise or even comment on her crutch like relationship with her son - is there anything that I can do or say to help...?!