Im so stressed and upset and confused. What is wrong with me?

[roz1982]

Im finding it really difficult to even know what to type.

My marriage has become something so unrecognisable to me and i feel like its all my fault.

I think im very stressed and maybe a bit depressed at the moment so that doesnt help but i just dont feel about dh the way i should and its been going on off and on for months. Ds is ten months old and im back at work and everything is just so bloody hard all the time. I feel like im being pulled apart. My sex drive is non existent to the point where i feel like dh kissing me or touching me is just irritating and suffocating but im just so exhausted all the time.

Im horrible to dh and feel awful about it. Im weepy and anxious and stressed and angry most of the time. Is this just a phase will it get better? I just dont know what to do but i cant go on feeling like this. I have talked to dh to a certain extent but theres some stuff that you just cant say isnt there?

I think a trip to the doc for a check up would be sensible. A certain amount of fatigue is normal with a new baby but if you're experiencing chronic fatigue, stress and other symptoms they could indicate one of many possible causes, physical as well as mental. Good luck

It's a long time until Friday. In the meantime, how about you take a few days off work, keep the baby in nursery or wherever they go normally, catch up on your sleep, take a daily multivitamin with iron, take some walks in the fresh air...? I've done this before when 'life' gets too much. We all need to take a break from time to time & look after ourselves.

Hi cogito, im actually off on tuesdays with ds and dh is still off tomorrow too so i will definitely be taking a bit of time to try and destress! Im very wary of taking any time off because im a teacher and have only been back for 4 weeks! But your right, if needs must i will take some time off.

You poor thing

Get thee to the GP. Don't continue to suffer unnecessarily. Another test to request if they are doing bloods is for postpartum thyroiditis (surprisingly common type of thyroid disease that tends to hit in the first year after birth)

Look after yourself as best you can.

I know what you mean about being wary of taking time off. One of the many pressures of returning to work - I found at least - was not wanting anyone to think that being a mum had slowed me down. Wanted to be just as brisk and efficient as pre-baby and ended up overcompensating, getting the balance wrong, feeling like I wasn't doing any of it properly. Don't know if that applies to you but talking to your line manager, pacing yourself, setting different priorities, saying 'no' more often (!) - can all help.

That's great roz, good to have that fixed up.