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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have no clue how to tell him or what to do - Advice would be lovely

5 replies

milkandribena · 20/09/2012 11:20

I don't really know who to ask this too.
Mr Doctor-man says i'm defiantly pregnant.
I'm not so much shocked - i kind of knew already. (never been late in my life)

But I'm dreading telling 'the man'
He isn't a DP and after only 4 (ish) - very spread out- dates he isn't even a BF.

I suppose I'm not sure what to do or how to tell him.
I haven't even seen him in 2 and a half weeks though we do call and text.

I just don't know.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/09/2012 11:25

Same thing happened to me, I nervously told the relatively new boyfriend and he was remarkably sanguine about the idea. He's been terrific since, always taken his fair share of responsibility financially, we get along well and he and DS have a great relationship. I realise I was very lucky. Be straight with him, make it clear what you want to happen & how involved you do or don't want him to be and then see how it goes.

Congratulations and good luck.

Cokeaholic · 20/09/2012 11:26

Before you tell this man I would take time to decide what you want to do about the pregnancy.

He will presumably expect a discussion of the contraception failure issue and may put pressure on you to have/abort the baby so take the time now to decide whether you want to be a single mum at this point in your life or not.

Good Luck

milkandribena · 20/09/2012 13:42

I guess that is it coke I know practically I would be fine having it - Money wise, job wise, have got space in my flat, I'm 25 I could do it. I have friends here.
But then I live at the opposite end of the country to my family. He doesn't live that far away but it is still a good hour away.

OP posts:
Cokeaholic · 21/09/2012 14:20

Do sort your own head our before adding in consideration of any thoughts he may have on the matter.

Out of interest, was it a contraceptive failure or a "throwing caution to the wind type moment" ?

Apocalypto · 21/09/2012 14:52

Whether you decide to have an abortion or not, he doesn't have a say in the matter. He has no say in whether he's financially affected or not either.

You just have to decide how involved you want him to be in the decision, or if you don't, tell him what the decision is. But it's a 'tell' not an 'ask'.

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