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Original poster

Emma Thompsons words at the end of "Love Actually"

50 replies

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 01:07

Made me cry again tonight.

After she finds out he has been cheating her, she says to Alan Rickman "What would you do if you were me?..........................would you stay? Knowing life would always be a little bit worse?"

Thats what I did. I went from meeting him at the airport with love and kisses and thankfulness that he was back in one piece, to a peck on the cheek and stilted conversation. I went from meeting him at the door with a smile and a kiss to "look, Daddy's home" while I go back into the kitchen to finish dinner. From never questioning anything to my heart and mind going into overdrive every time I realise he has put his phone on silent because he was in a meeting, was it really a meeting.....?

It is always a little bit worse :(

Sorry, have had two glasses of so probably being maudlin, but that scene always makes me cry.

OP posts:

fiventhree · 20/09/2012 15:41

I agree entirely, Familyscapegoat.

That is sort of where I have been headed, too.

DH is sort of with me, and certainly enough to stay with, for now at least.

I think DH sees he has been selfish, and is doing fairly well at being much less so. He has made many changes. and I applaud him for those. I think he could make more, if he faced his demons over his poor childhood, but that is his decision.

I still feel the need to be vigilant, but regarding unsupportive behaviour rather than infidelity.

I have been on the same journey you have, re family of origin. My brother, in particular, has not enjoyed it.

twostraightlines · 20/09/2012 16:29

I haven't seen that film for years, but oh, those scenes. Painful even when you haven't been down that road (and I hadn't at the time).

The 'little bit worse' thing is always going to be true if you stay with a cheater who doesn't fully address his failings.

I am 2 years post discovery of H's long and sordid affair and like crispyhedgehog, I've finally come to realise that with him in his current state, life was always going to be worse, so I've had enough and he is moving out.

blackcurrants · 20/09/2012 17:13

I haven't (yet - not been married that long) experienced what you ladies have experienced - and I hope I never do. But the Emma Thompson scene where she's trying to hold it all together and smoothing down the bedspread - oh god, it has me absolutely sobbing. I remember talking to Dmum about it (married for 40 years) and she said it absolutely killed her. The 'you made me a fool" line ... ohgod, yes. Emma Thompson is brilliant in that, but it's actually too heartbreaking to watch again!

Original poster

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 17:17

I believe that she did have to deal with this sort of thing with KB, he was a serial shagger. His second wife insisted he have therapy to work out why he kept getting involved with his leading ladies. For her sake, I hope the therapy worked.

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Springhasarrived · 20/09/2012 19:35

Oh, god, that bit always makes me cry. My DD and I have the dvd and we watched it every pre Christmas for several years running. When Emma's lip starts wobbling....I cry every time. Brilliant acting.

TheCalmingManatee · 20/09/2012 19:41

I had to turn it off last night, before it got to the bit with the necklace thing, i wanted to crucify him.

Original poster

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 19:44

Its funny because until last night I didnt clock that he had slept with her. There was a discussion on here about it a while back so last night I watched it properly and realised that her bed was a mess and she was getting out of it. He had been late home and there was no way he turned up, gave her the necklace and left is there?

I have kind of held onto the fact that he was just being a bit of dick until now, but no, he was just like all the others.....:(

OP posts:

BadgersRetreat · 20/09/2012 19:51

oh my - i didn't clock that either

whole film made me sob - a lot of it is desperately sad

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 20/09/2012 19:54

Exactly the same thing happened to me - I found two presents - a 'wedding' ring and a bracelet. Guess which I got.

I had to stop watching it last night; it's too close to home for me and she's so good that I wouldn't be able to think, "It's just a film."

arthriticfingers · 20/09/2012 20:01

I didn't clock either - not that it make that much difference - just another pointer to the 'worse' :( :(
It is the getting ready to go out that kills me. I know how icy cold every bit of you is. :(

LaQueen · 20/09/2012 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BadgersRetreat · 20/09/2012 20:15

apparently not coz i'm a thicko that's only seen it about 30 times

have to watch it now tonight. DH is away camping with his mates (at least he'd better be...)

EyesDoMoreThanSee · 20/09/2012 20:21

Never clocked that either

It's one of my favourite films but makes me sob every time I watch it, always watch it at Christmas wrapping up presents

Fairylea · 20/09/2012 20:31

That part always makes me cry too. It totally sums up how it feels to put your whole self into raising kids and being a wife to someone and then having someone effectively piss all over it. It also makes you feel old and undesirable. Its horrific. It happened to me.

I am now remarried and happy. I have a ds 15 weeks old as well as dd aged 9. Butthat song and her standing there trying not to cry in front of the kids always always gets me.

Original poster

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 20:35

I did LQ. Its something I have noticed before and actually I hate it. Its quite upsetting to realise that you are the one with the neatly made bed, sensible shoes and the kids in handmade nativity costume. and not the sexy young woman with the "just been fucked" glow :(

As for trying not to cry in front of the kids.....I held it in so long sometimes that when I finally let it out, I threw up out of the sheer pent up pressure.

OP posts:

Original poster

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 20:38

And the money! Sorry but this has pissed me off too. She gets a CD and scarf, the tart gets a £300 necklace, and mistresses reckon they arent prostitutes HAH!

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GentleLentilWeaver · 20/09/2012 20:46

God, I never clocked that either! I though as she was looking so pouty and down it was because he had gone home with his wife instead of her and she was grumpy at him.

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 20/09/2012 21:23

Bogeyface, my ex thought his crime was less because my present was more expensive. Of course I didn't mind him buying someone a cheaper present - it was only a wedding ring!

Original poster

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 21:33

WHy did he buy her a wedding ring?! at that!

OP posts:

LaQueen · 21/09/2012 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 21/09/2012 18:02

Did anyone see Emma Thompson in The Tall Guy with Jeff Goldblum? He cheated on her and when she found out he said "She meant nothing to me" and Emma replied, in that soft sad voice "Yes, but when you were with her, I meant nothing to you".

So dignified, so sad.

blackcurrants · 21/09/2012 18:26

Love The Tall Guy - one of my favourite RomComs. I don't really like RomComs - but I do sometimes like some Rom Coms from the early eighties (or earlier!) because they don't involve the woman being completely humiliated before the happy ending. Kate Lemon (I think she's called) in The Tall Guy is a great woman, and a great character.

LaurieFairyCake · 21/09/2012 18:30

That film came out during my divorce and I remember texting my ex to say something about it.

Even though I'm blissfully happy with my new husband, divorce scars you, it just does - it leaves a hollowness behind and a knowledge that a terrible hurt can happen but that you can live through it with your scars.

redfairy · 21/09/2012 18:37

15 years after my EXH had an affair and I can still feel like I've been operated on (that's the only way I can describe the hurt) when I think about it.
Love Actually brings it all back but I do love the film and watch it every Christmas.

MrsCampbellBlack · 21/09/2012 18:45

God - I never realised that about the bed. But Emma in that film always makes me cry and I adore the Joni Mitchell song.

And I never knew that about Kenneth Branagh either. I always thought they were the perfect couple after watching them in Fortunes of War many years ago.

Bogey - I hope you're feeling a little better today.

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