New to MN Long Post.DH has moved out after 36yrs of marriage this July.2011 asked DH several times if he was having an affair, which he always denied, DH made it very easy to find details of OW ,never passworded phone, kept dashing to another room to text etc.Worked away more often,would not disclose his whereabouts.Confronted DH when I found firm evidence to which he replied he had had an affair with his much younger P.A. but all over, as she called off affair when DH would not leave me for her.I wanted to work on our marriage, we went to relate etc but still had nagging doubts, his drinking was out of control. DH frequently emotionally/verbally abusive , getting into fights, always angry, all very out of character.One night DH hit me , blacked my eye and walked out , returning at 5am next day. Next evening found DH talking to OW on phone, pleading for her to take him back. Asked DH to move out to which he replied,OW not yet saved up enough money to leave her DH. Eventually with the threat of informing his office & OW DH(although she still remains in her marital home) he moved out, on the day he left it was like a stranger had moved into his body. Why does a previously loving man turn into a monster? Why could DH not sit down and discuss like an adult? He has ignored emails for the last 6 months from our two fine DS who live & work abroad, . I have not turned DS against DH, but they are incredibly hurt by his behaviour and now want nothing to do with DH.DH has drained money out of joint account and refuses to answer letters re divorce.Found good solicitor and setting wheels in motion, but how do I move on from this.I am an only child.Very few friends as spent most of my time with DH at weekends, he was my world. Feel lost and lonley, the pain is almost unbearable, why do some men behave like this, when they no longer want to be married. How in my late 50's do I start again? Every day seems longer than the last!