Is romance dead?

[bubalou]

I was sat at my laptop working this morning and in a day dream was thinking back to the last time me & DH did anything romantic.

Me & DH have a 4 year old DS and romance has always been a bit of a nagging point. We have a great relationship, we talk, are very honest, very happy, great sex life that seems to only get better even now - so am I wrong to want a bit of romance too?

Nothing extravagant. I don't expect flowers and chocolates all the time but we both earn OK- DH in particular so it's not a case of can't afford it.

I just wanted to know if I am the only one wanting that bit of surprise / excitement and romance? Are any of your partners romantic?

Not the only one. However, I believe in the direct approach rather than waiting for someone to get romantic unilaterally and taking it personally when they don't. If I feel neglected ever I tend to say something like... oh I dunno... 'I'm feeling neglected!! Do something!" Then I drop big hints about what the something might be so there's a bit of a list for him to choose from..... this minimises the disappointment factor. BTW If lingerie is involved write down the sizes. Some people are not naturally spontaneous and need a bit of a steer. HTH

I think people have different perceptions of romantic.

It was my wedding anniversary last weekend. As a family we went out for afternoon tea and cake and then had a stroll through the woods at a local country park. DH and I were hand in hand for most of it which earned us vom faces from our teenage daughters.

He always books a day off for my birthday and we go out for lunch.

I think these are romantic gestures but then I have always been easily pleased!

Haha,

It's not like it's a 1 way thing. I have tried to do romantic things before.

I told him on his birthday last year we were gonna have the day off together - organised for mum to have ds etc. Told DH we should go for breakfast in town - little did he know when he got in the car i started driving the wrong way - i had arranged for us to (sounds childish) go to a well known theme park down south, we had priority passes etc and spent the whole day there. When we were leaving he said what a great day it had been, but that wasn't it - I drove to a 4* hotel where I had booked us into a suite & made reservations at a lovely local italian restaurant.

This was quite a big 1 I admit - however I also try to do small things like surprise him with candles, music etc in the bedroom & maybe lingerie and give him a massage etc.

I don't even think it's the romance maybe - he is just not very spontaneous and I'd love a bit of that.

People express love in different ways. Some, like you, are gift-givers that want to spoil & indulge their partners. Some like the PP value a walk in the woods or a day off together. Others are even more subtle and, for them, they might express love by cooking your boiled egg the way they know you like it or washing your car. If you're the extrovert type you might miss the message behind the boiled egg... Then again, if he does nothing at all, go back to Plan A and demand action :)

Why does he have to be the one to do something romantic?

Have you done anything recently?

And then read your post...

But check the languages of love:
www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

He may be romantic in different ways. Maybe he's thinking that you haven't been much either.

I think it's just the love rut. When you get so caught up in school runs - work - making lunches - housework etc that the norm is just to collapse on the sofa at the end of the night.

Maybe it's time to demand a little romance - for the good of the relationship of course