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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've broached the subject of breaking up...what next?

2 replies

vodkaandcaviar · 18/09/2012 14:22

I posted a thread a few days ago because I was feeling really confused about my relationship. I think I already knew that I need to leave.

Yesterday my boyfriend asked me if something was wrong because I'd been acting differently. I explained that I've been feeling differently and thinking a lot about where we're going. I said I wasn't sure if we wanted the same things out of life and that I feel too dependent on him. He says he thinks it's just because we're both still looking for work. He did get quite upset and I tried to be as nice (but firm) as possible but now I think he's brooding about it.

He got very little sleep last night, it seems, but he got up and brought me breakfast in bed (very kind of him). He's spent all day sulking and when I try to speak to him I get really snappy responses. I should just leave him alone, shouldn't I? I'm focusing on finding work and moving on and I think he can see that.

As I said before, financially I'm not in a position to move out but what should I do? It's a two bedroomed place and I do sometimes sleep in the spare room - should I sleep there all the time now? Gaaaah, it's so confusing.

OP posts:
HotDAMNlifeisgood · 18/09/2012 14:32

I explained that I've been feeling differently and thinking a lot about where we're going. I said I wasn't sure if we wanted the same things out of life and that I feel too dependent on him.

That is not a break-up talk. That's pussy-footing around.

He's also giving mixed messages: breakfast in bed, but with a day-long sulk.

Break-ups are rarely neat and painless things done with the blessing of the dumped party. If you want to break up, break up. And move out (or ask him to). This limbo is not doing either of you any favours.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2012 14:58

"financially I'm not in a position to move out but what should I do? "

Forget the finances and move out. Agree with the above, this half-way house, fence-sitting business doesn't acheive anything except everyone getting upset, confused and resentful. Grasp the nettle....

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