Toxic mother now ill

[Mintykins]

Have name changed for this.

My mother and I have not spoken for six weeks. She is was I'd consider to be a narcissistic mother. We've had a few short texts but beyond that nothing.

Now, my dad called me yesterday to say that she has bowel cancer. My dear brother confirmed this.

These past six weeks is the first time I've ever stood up to her and in effect shown her that her behaviour is unacceptable to me. Now she's ill and my guilt is overwhelming.

How do I handle this best? I feel the control is all back with her. I love her, I want the best for her but I could not carry on the way we were.

Springy- so sorry, that's awful.

I only forgave dad a few years after his death. I am ashamed to say the day he died I felt relieved. I only mourned because I missed him as gf to kids which might sound daft(people said I was his favourite ) I must admit I was his little girl till the day he died( only girl in family). We had a complicated relationship. Mum bore the heaviest brunt of his narss behaviour and of course I was in solidarity with my long suffering mother(who inherited a horrible dzz from him) Another part of me will never forgive what he did to mum and us. My mum should have left.....

So I agree its relative