Long story short (I'm a namechanger) my marriage is on the rocks. We are teetering on the edge of separating at the moment, and tbh, the DC are a major thing holding us together. I have health problems and DH has depression which dates back to before we met but which got markedly worse with the arrival of DS and then DD.
We are home together all day (he's my carer), and because my health makes it hard for me to go out, I've started talking to people on skype a lot, a group of friends I get on with really well. One of them in particular I chat to a lot though, a man in another country. Nothing has ever been said - in fact, he's recently been seeing someone else, and I am desperately trying to hold my marriage together, but I find I just connect with this guy on so many levels that aren't there any more with DH, or that never were and I only just noticed.
We are to all intents and purposes just friends, but I find myself turning to him when I feel down, because DH so often doesn't get me right now. (We are on a last chance to get treatment for his MH issues and then that's my dealbreaker gone if he doesn't stick with it.)
But DH has said several times he is worried I will find someone else online, and now I feel like I have, although this man lives in another country and doesn't want children/that life so it could never work if it turns out he feels the same way about me.
I feel so torn up about this. Atm and indefinitely going forwards we are just friends, and we could always be. But, and it's so much more exaggerated by my marriage being on the line, part of me wonders if it could be more, and if that makes it wrong.