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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i apolagise?

8 replies

AppleCatchers · 17/09/2012 15:48

Had row with dh at weekend, On saturday he wanted to dtd in middle of the day, I refused as kids were around and I was busy so he was giving me silent treatment(happens sometimes) I was ignoring it made scones (his favorite ) and a cup of tea which he left Saturday evenin I just made dinner for kids, So sat night I asked him to stop acting like a 5 year old and he let me have it shouting that I never made him dinner I explained to him that he knows where the fridge is and im not makin him food to have it left there, then it came up about I never give him sex he had got it Thursday night so hes not as bloody sex starved as he thinks so any way big shouting match it took all i could not to cry 10 mins later he says sorry so I told him he cant treat me like shit say sorry then all is ok its not on you need to cop urself on. So now this is all my fault cos he said sorry and i threw it back in his face , anyway yesterday I made usual Sunday dinner he didnt have any so I didnt bother and just got kids fed, last night he cuddled up to me in bed but I just hung on the edge of bed and went asleep barely speaking to him today only really if it relates to the kids. Do I need to bite the bullet and make amends say sorry even though im still pissed off? I am tempted to tell him if hes not happy to find someone who can satisfy his as I couldnt give a rats ass anymore!

OP posts:
dietstartsmonday · 17/09/2012 15:52

tell him to grow up.

You are allowed to not fancy sex and don't expect to find DH turning into a sulky child if he doesn't get it

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 17/09/2012 15:55
  • He pesters you for sex and sulks if it's not on offer. He feels you owe it to him, and your feelings on the matter don't count.
  • He has tantrums about food: expects you to cook it, and refuses to it when you do to "punish" you.
  • He gives you the silent treatment. This is a frequent occurrence.
  • He shouts at you.

Do tell him to find someone else, yes. I don't think this man views you as a human being to be treated with respect.

What are you getting out of this marriage? Is it worth the contempt he treats you with?

pictish · 17/09/2012 15:55

You are in control of whether or not you want to have sex, not him.
You're not his shagging maid.

His treatment of you resulting from your refusal is revolting. You have nothing to apologise for. He, on the other hand....

scarletforya · 17/09/2012 15:58

No way. It's him who should be saying sorry.

Guiltypleasures001 · 17/09/2012 16:09

echo hot here ..

ringodingo · 17/09/2012 16:51

He sounds like a complete sulky control freak. Tell him to have some respect for you and if not then he should get friendly with the sofa for the night. Don,t apologise you have nothing to say sorry for or about. He needs to grow up.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/09/2012 17:01

Don't apologise, talk. Whatever the original problem, it seems to have descended into a slanging match on all sides. So you either go into a Cold War of silent treatment where no-one apologises and the resentment builds up to another massive row .... or.... you talk to each other like grown-ups, agree to start fresh, be a bit more considerate, a bit kinder and everyone treats everyone else with respect.

Dryjuice25 · 17/09/2012 23:06

Yes apologize .......to yourself for putting up with this man-child. I'm rattled by the way he expects sex from you. I'd feel infringed and extremely disrespected by this treatment. Tell him to relieve himself if he is too bothered .....or show respect .....or leave!

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