Hello, how frustrating. I kind of know how you feel, although my moan is slightly different.
Having a baby is so life changing, and at 6 months, things are still so new and it takes so much getting used to. You are clearly very bright and perhaps the shift to being a new mum, being with the baby blah blah and not working etc is slightly frustrating?? I knew I found it really hard to start with (still do with 2 children, and not working - I feel a bit like a useless invaluable nagging frump).
What does your husband do for a living, does he earn a good wage? When I first met mine (who also has a phd) he worked at the university here, and earned shit money, lived in this bubble, and then got made redundant. Went and got a job in industry and still feels some resentment towards me for dragging him out of his uni life (which I did not, he was made bloody redundant). After having baby no 1. it took a while for him to realise that he couldn't spend weekends in the workshop 'pottering' about with tools and stuff, and he still seems a bit resentful now and again when I ask him to help/look after HIS kids. My view is, I told hiim I wanted marriage and kids, he had 9 months to get his head round it, so cop on Mr! When we first we were out all the time having a whale of a time, fab holidays, I could buy clothes/stuff for house etc, but kids put a stop to that. It's hard/dull work for the most of it, and this may sound snobby/superior, but if you have had a good job/life where you contributed or made good money it does take some getting used to.
Sorry, I'm rambling, what I'm trying to say is it seems as if he still hasn't' realised he has to make some sacrifices - he can't go to the pub each evening, he can't puff away on fags to his hearts content (and I LOVE my wine and occasional naughty puff, but hey, not so often now, what kid wants to smell it's mum reeking of booze and fags).
It's unfair for you to have to pay rent/bills and even clothes for him out of your maternity pay, tell him to buy his own fu**ing clothes! Either that or he goes out and gets cold/laughed at. Does he expect you to buy him stuff? Could you not have an agreement, like he pays the rent, you get the food, he pays for this, you pay for that? I'm sure you have already written a list of all outgoings and split them??
As for new cars, nice holidays, welcome to parenthood. Me and my pals moan that we can't go on hol abroad, god, even camping costs a bomb. That's how it is these days for lots of us. When we were young, many of us went abroad with our folks, our dad's got a new car, but these times are so different. It's unfair and bloody annoying but hey.
I would say that most of us girls feel like dumping our sometimes useless men, but is the grass that much greener? Mine is irritating the living hell out of me at the mo (hence why on relationship section, ready to let rip) and I feel like going, but I look at my 2 year old, and my 3month old and think they need their dad. I wont' meet anyone as nice as him, he's a good kind man as you say yours is.
Could you try talking to him kindly and explain that you would like him to address some issues (remember, you have to talk to some men as if they are thick/toddlers, if you 'tell them off' they did their immature heels in and moan to their mummys) Try and get an action plan/financial agreement, or perhaps 'bills' account, which the money goes into by direct debit or whatever? Maybe he could go for beer and smokes on one night a week?
My OH just hears miserable noise when I try and complain, the shutters come down. Maybe yours is the same? Anyway, I'm rambling again, hope you sort it out, but pls remember that having a young baby is no picnic, it's not the romantic sweet lifestyle many people think it is, bringing them closer to the person they married. It's bloody hard work, tiring and thankless. Maybe try and go out with your OH without the baby and try to remember why you married him (make him bloody pay). Good luck and sorry for war and peace here