wish me luck

[raspberyfool]

Its my first session with relate in a minute. Im determined to get over stbxh and all the mind games. I want to next time he argues or talks about his gf and asking my advice to be able to not care and tell him so. Or next time he lets the girls down to be strong for them.

Am prepared for first session to be tough but Im hoping this is the first step to the rest of my life.

Ok here goes

Good luck, honey. Take a box of tissues and know that we'll be here when you come back.

good lucl raspberyfool.

You can do it.

Been ringing the bell and banging on the door. No one answering. Sitting in my car now having left fourth voicemail. Crying and everyone looking. Going to give five minutes then go home and curl under my dovet.

So very tiered of it all

What time was your appointment?
Do you have the correct address/date

Is there another door?

Just got home to voicemail there bell was broken and they did not realise. They have rescheduled for Monday and someone is going to meet me on the doorstep.

What makes it 1000 times worse was that stbxh was babysitting he was the only one i could get. I told him i was going to a fr iends . i came in crying and he had heard the voicemail on my home number.

Its not funny anymore. The relate lady was so nice but she has inadvertently told him Im having counselling.

And before anyone says im a troll im a not i wish this was made up. I am so very tiered of struggling.

Bollox to what he thinks.

You are having counselling to take back control of your life. You should be proud of the steps you are taking.

It's positive!

Argghh

he's gone now but he used the opportunity to say he was fed up with arguments and he's just going to agree with me. wtf i wasn't arguing i was just crying . I was not crying because of him. then he says he's upset too.

Then he asked did i want him to stay and i said no so he said fine well don't say i don't try to support you.

So angry he's upset too bollox

God, raspbery, that's shit. I can't even begin to imagine what's going on in your mind right now. But wait ...

I'm one for reading into things - I see meaning in everything - so I make that apology now: I don't believe in coincidence.

What you went through today is a chance to really commit to this ... in spite of everything that seems to be standing in your way. Just put your head down, and go for it. Look for the person waiting outside for you next time, tell them you're there for your appointment, and see it through, no matter what. This might just be the one last 'mind game' you have to negotiate before you start feeling the freedom.

Aw RF that's crap, surely you can't have been the only one that had a problem. DD and I will look after the girls next time you make an appointment. The less you see of LFB the better. So glad you were strong enough to tell him no.

Thanks conflugenglugen. I do hope so. Sometimes he twists me in circles so that he convinces me he cares and is in pain. Then i find out more lies and he is vile to me. He makes me feel like Im the one in the wrong.

Got a mate sitting for me on Monday so can avoid taking to him. Just got to get nerve up again.

Cheers moomoo. Lady before me bell worked but bust when i tried. Thanks for Monday x

We will get you thru this hun. Don't worry about him knowing, it just shows him you are doing your best to move on from him which he won't like.

Ok had a semi decent night sleep so world seems a bit brighter. In a way last night was good as showed me how he always used to react when i was upset.

Its amazing you can be so in love with someone you really do not see what they are really like.

Yes unfortunately that old adage ?love is blind? is definitely true, can vouch for that ! :)