mother in law - anyone else had this

[bubbles11]

I think this is quite common and happens to quite a few people tho I am not sure
Has anyone had their mother in law say to them within days of their return from hospital with their newborn baby (in my case it was my second and last baby, I am not having any more and had agreed this with my husband privately although our two children are very close in age (18 months apart) - kind of planned kind of surprised it happened so quickly but happy about it)

And I am talking when the baby was 2 or 3 days old and it is your second child
Mother in law phones up for the first time after the baby has been born and the second or so thing she says during the phone conversation is "you aren't having any more are you"?

It is quite common for the older generation to be concerned that you are not going to have a big family and to check isnt it? Or is it? Genuinely wondering

My MIL said to DH when DD was born (already had DS) 'Oh that is lovely your family is now complete' I think she was shocked and horrified when we went on to have DD2 & DD3.

I deeply dislike people asking questions about this-I think people should leave a couple alone to decide. But it is usually about their issues, not the rights and wrongs of the decision you are making.

My MIL told me not to have a second shortly after DS was born because 'the second one's always a sod' and more in that nasty vein. DH (who was standing right in front of her) is her second child. She made no secret of the fact having him was a mistake she continued to regret, even after he provided her with her first, adored grandchild. Superficially we got on fine but I never forgave her for that. I think on her deathbed she more or less managed to embrace the fact her second child was ok.

it is sad that, a what can be an emotional and sometimes stressful time for a couple / new baby, the parents / parents in law want to add to that stress by saying these things

What do they want, for people to see the error of their ways and "magic away" the baby they are expecting or to "suddenly" get pregnant with the sibling they are being advised to have asap?

I just think it adds so much to the stress and often the people making these comments are not trying to help in any way.

in my case there is a definite case of wanting to ensure she always has a right to come and stay with "her son" (i.e my husband - she left her own husband for another man and it did not work out so now she more or less lives alone apart from a "gentleman friend" she refuses to marry) - i am just a fly in the ointment to her, i am sure

makes me feel sad and a bit depressed

PIL love that we're expecting DC1 and MiL has been wanting GC for years it was my DGM who told me I had to wait until she was long gone before I have any DC because she didn't want anymore GC when I told her I was pregnant she said 'huh supose I'll have another GC then, weren't you scared to tell me I would have been of I was you' dont think she was to impressed when I replied something alone the lines of "why would I be scared were happy and I don't care what anyone else thinks about it". To this day she's not interested though

My father asked me if my ds 10 months was going to be his last grandchild, I told him he should ask my db who has no children and a younger wife than me. I was told my husband was infertile and one month later was pregnant with ds, took two years to concieve dd and 2 years to concieve ds plus I turned 40 this year and could not pyhysically go through pregnacy again so I thought it was a strange thing to ask me.

When I told ex-MIL that I was expecting DS2, I was met with complete silence. I had to get up and let myself out of their house in tears. Mind you, she never really approved of my relationship with STBEx-H (I'm older than him, English rather than Greek, we weren't married at the time and DS1 was only 13 months old). It still upsets me to think about that. Cow.