29, married 3 years, together for a good bit longer. Sex life brilliant to start with but has tailed off dramatically - some months we do it around the time I ovulate as we're supposedly trying for our first baby, but that's it, and it's always at my instigation. Tried to talk about it, he's refused to read the books, refused counselling.
He is affectionate, but not passionate. This is despite my best efforts. We spend time together, I compliment him, shave my legs & wear nice pants. I haven't felt desirable in a long time. Apart from this he is a great husband, but it is a bit like living with a really close friend. The lack of sex and passion makes me feel shitty. I can't count the number of nights I've laid in bed next to my husband having tried it on with him only to be knocked back with yet another bullshit excuse.
A new man recently started on my team. He is a very sexy man. About 2 weeks ago at a work social occasion, this man kissed me. I pushed him away, very cross, and told my husband that someone kissed me, although not who, as my husband works for the same company. Husband, tbh, didn't seem massively bothered. On good days I think that's because he trusts me. On bad days...
Since then, I have seen this man in a whole new light. Then a series of messages that were legitimately about work became rather more suggestive. Suggestive but not explicit. I was turned on by it. Felt myself making excuses to brush past him, spend more time together. Knew he was doing the same, and I loved how it felt. Felt like a giddy teenager realising the class heartthrob fancied her too.
Then I shook out of it. Stopped the messages, physically distanced myself. No lines were crossed, from an outside point of view, but I knew in my heart I had been doing something wrong. He hasn't pushed the issue, for which I am grateful. But I feel like that same teenager has just been dumped by the class heartthrob. I am gutted, so sad. Miss the attention. Miss the little smiles.
Need a kick up the bum. Thanks for reading.