Leaving my parents house

[Emmielu]

And not going to tell them until the night I've gone. My friend is going to put me and DD up from Friday night till Sunday. From Sunday DD and I will be at another friends house so I can make sure DD gets to school on the Monday. I'm so bloody lucky to have people to put me and DD up. I'm not going to tell my parents until Friday night. Although I thought maybe leaving a note might be best. What do you think?

Good luck! I assume they are abusive which is why you are leaving in this way.

Scratch that. We just had a big argument and I ended up telling her I'm going. What hurts is that all she had to say was "I hope you're coming back to feed the dogs"

I saw your previous thread. How long are you expecting friends to put you up? What is your long term plan? You will have a small child in tow, it will be even worse for you if you do leave and find you have to come back to them because it hasn't worked out with friends.

I understand you need to go but you need to be sensible about how you go about it. It will be disruptive for your DD.

Can you rent your own place, a room even in a shared house?

My friend will put me up for however long I need but because she isnt near the school ill be at another friends from Sunday so DD can get to school. Friday I plan to start calling the council, citizens advice and telling the school. My mum has already said the same day I leave shes going to get a skip and chuck mine and DD's furniture.

ok but you need to tread carefully. I hope your friend realises what it means to live with a small child in the house and that you don't fall out over anything. Have you discussed how long this might be for or have you left it open ended?

On the other hand if you end up homeless does that raise your case with the council? It sounds like a drastic measure with a young child in tow.

My friend is DD's godmother and looks after her quite a bit so thats why shes offered and my other friend has offered because her DS is in DD's class at school so shes well aware of what its like to have a small child around. I have 4 other people willing to have me & DD stay all of which have children the same age as DD who all go to the same school. I will see the council in person monday morning as they do an interview with me and prefer it to be in person rather than over the phone or in writing. I dont plan on it being for long at all obviously. I dont want to be a burden on people for months or overstay my welcome. But tbh with you either i do this or end up staying here for another 5 years until the dogs die. It'll be then and only then that i can get into work without having to worry about if ill get into trouble for not being there to walk the dogs or feed them. DD still wont be allowed friends round. She still wont be allowed to paint or play games in any room in the house but her own. She still wont be allowed to go outside and play. Shes very restricted. And i feel its part of being a parent to try my hardest to let her have the childhood she deserves before its too late. Shes starting to resent my parents and i really dont want her to have a bad relationship with them like i already do.

I haven't read your other thread but I wish you well in your new start. You sound as though you are putting your daughter before everything and that's really what your job is.

Anyone can look after dogs, only you can look after your daughter. But don't break contact with your parents, try to keep doors open so there is no guilt on either side. Sounds as if they need to let go of you

I don't know what your situation has been but I would be tempted to have the courtesy to say to your parents something calm along the lines of 'Many thanks for putting myself and DD up but it is now clearly too stressful for all concerned having us here. I have found myself somewhere else to live and will be moving out on Friday'. Otherwise you put yourself in the wrong. However, without knowing all the facts only you can decide whether to do the 'moonlight flit'. Good luck!

I'd love to leave on good terms but it works both ways. My dad is now coming round to it my mum still won't talk to me.

Good luck I hope it all goes well for you and your Dd