dh has left

[tummytickler]

and I am in bits.
He left yesterday morning, but we have known it was coming for a little while he had been arranging somewhere to stay.
No other woman involved, we have argued a lot over the last little while, and want different things in life now I guess. We get on great a lit of the time. I guess that wasn't enough. We have been married 10 years and have 4 dc. They don't know yet, they think he is at work (he leaves early and gets back after bed mostly)
I have been alright during the day. I was at work yesterday and today I went shopping with a friend and spent too much money. I am strugglin in the evenings though, and whenever I am in the house really.
I cry at the drop of a hat at home now. How do I cope with the evenings? I feel so lonely. I just want to chat with him like I used to about our days and stuff. Ir feels so weird and wrong that he is not here.
Tomorrow evening my friend is taking me out for supper and drinks as dh is over to do some stuff with the kids. He will sleep on the sofa. I am dreading it. I can't bear to see him.
Thursday he wont be here. Friend is over to see me, so that will be nice I suppose.

I have taken some positive action - bought loads of nice new under wear, booked my driving test, but am drinking a bit too much, and started smoking again.

I don't know how I will face him.
I just tested him and told him it all feels wrong and he texted back saying that he is sorry but it feels very right for him.

I cant stop crying. My friends say I am being amazingly strong, but I am a wreck. I miss him already.

Hi everyone.
Thanks for all the advice.
2girls I don't know if it is really over, but I really need to think it is or it will really fuck with my head. He says that this is what he wants, so there is not much I can do but go along with it and try to move on.

We really have no choice at the moment, he needs to come home and take ds to football and stuff, and I want him to be here in the eves sometimes so I can go out, as I will go mad sitting in feeling that he is out all the time. His brothers place is very small, but I think they will be having a fun 'campout' on the floor over there soon.

He will be sleeping on the sofa and I definitely will not sleep with him, I know it will put me back to the start. I am so angry with him for doing this to me.

He will also tell the children with me when we do it. They wont notice for a bit because he is a nurse and they are used to him working night shifts and long days and things.

I really never thought this day would come. I thought it would blow over, and he would miss me, obviously not.

Today I have worked and bought more new underwear. I must stop buying new underwear everyday. I also bought a new sofa. I feel like throwing everythign away that I had when he was with me - mental, I know!
Tonight my friend is taking me out for dinner and drinks whilst dh is here. Really all I want to do is stay in and hang out with dh, but I can't

oh tummy, im so sorry :( I'm sure he does miss you actually, but he wont show it. I think you are doing really well - be careful with the spending, i mean, if you have the money, buy as much underwear and a many sofas as you like, but don't get yourself into debt for it. My friends mum did this when her husband left, she redecorated her bedroom in a totally girlie flowery pattern becaue it was what SHE wanted and he never would have wanted it. It became her santuary. I think the sooner the break is made the better - for everyone. and

sanctuary