Need your advice

[Twinflame]

I was dating a girl for about 8 months and we fell so deeply in love, so much so it scared me that I could feel so deeply for another human being. She had words inked into her skin that she said were in reference to me (but could have been for her brother who passed away).

I was totally shocked by how I felt for her, the depth and strength were over whelming and confusing. When we kissed time stood still, I wanted to become one person with her. You may think I am crazy but the depth and strength were new to me and I am no spring chicken.

My confusion surrounding my feelings meant I kept pushing her away time and time again and she got fed up and ended it just less than two months ago. By pushing her away I meant just keeping distance, I was never disrespectful I just let too much distance come between us. That is what I think ultimately led her to decide on wanting to be away from me and I totally understand why.

I knew the end was coming and I declared my love to her but by then it was too late; the break had to happen. Which I now understand and again I have totally respected the fact she asked me to step back from her life and I have.
So here is the reason for this post.

Since she ended the relationship she has contacted me at least 4 times via text & email but all just lame reasons, like asking when we were last intimate as she is having surgery and the docs wanted to know (eh?) and then for her ?how to deal with epilepsy? card back (which I posted).

The most recent being a few days ago from an old email address we set up together to share our thoughts and feelings to each other. She titled the email ?Do you ever come here?? all our old thoughts and feelings are there.

I have respected her decision to end things and I am dusting myself of and trying to move on but this is just confusing me as my feelings are so very strong for her.

So in your opinion why is she still contacting me?

There could be any amount of reasons why she's contacting you.

She could be bored, she could be feeling that ditching you was a mistake, she could be giving you the virtual equivalent of come hither looks to see if she still has some power over you, she could be... jeez, I could go on but you get the picture.

You know the woman; why not ask her why she's doing this after she's told you to stay out of her life?

Actually, revise that last sentence: don't ask her; if she's desperate to have you in her life again, she'll make a more decisive move in the not too distance future.

As a word to the wise, you've described her as a 'girl' and you've said you're 'no spring chicken' and presumbly you are aware that the saying has it that there's no fool like an old fool? And that infatuation can easily be confused for 'deep love'?

Hi Izzy,

Thank you for responding.

I had considered all of them but I wanted other peoples opinions. My sister says the same that if she wants you she will show you as at the moment she is just playing.

I am 39 and she is 29 so that is why I mention that I ain't no spring chicken :).

I was trying to take it as slowly as possible to see what my true feelings were, to let them grow but she was 100% sure i was her soul mate and she dreamed me into life etc....

I think we maybe soul mates if such a thing is true but then again I think we have more than one.

Thanks for the advice, we will see.

Word to the wise - if you meet your perfect woman, in general it's advisable not to 'push them away' due to 'too much distance'
Your behaviour completely contradicts the feelings you profess to have had for her. I'd spend some time working out why that is if I were you.

I share your opinion in that I believe we all have many more than one soul mate on this earthly plane, Twinflame.

I'm curious about the trampstamp words 'inked into her skin'. Is it a sentiment/saying or a name? I'm not asking you to reveal the words/name but in what way was she able to claim it's related to you?

Do you feel that maybe she's a tad away with the fairies immature or emotionally needy and that this may have made you back off, or behaved with more restraint than you would normally exercise in new relationships?

At 39, honey, you're prey for a cougar a babe magnet

People who 'fall in love' really fast and do vom-inducing things like having shared email addresses for all their speshul fairy thoughts about being soul mates are invariably either con artists or psychologically abusive due to fuckup issues of their own.

Ignore her, OP. She probably has half a dozen silly bastards still pining for her and likes twanging their strings from time to time.

You can always count on true romantics like sgb to tell it how it is

Izzy,

I know we have many soul mates and not all are lovers but I just hope she was not my twin flame.

The words inked were ? ?Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will?. She also gave me a small print with the words written on.

She said they were for me as she fell in love with me the moment she saw me, but I often thought whether they were for a member of her immediate family who (sadly) had passed away.

She was very impatient and I was overwhelmed by what she said and the feelings she expressed it was so much to handle. We talked about it and she understood I wanted to let things develop slowly. But ultimately I accept me putting distance between us was what caused her to engage the split and I have learn?t from how I behaved.

Just to update; I changed the password on our joint account and all access so she could not contact me from there but somehow she got past my mobile and email request and changed it back and then emailed me twice from the said account.

She is good because she has changed the password and told me what the new one is knowing full well I would log in but it does not work; probably to get me to contact her?

These games are just no good I ain?t playing; just going to ignore her.

Ha Ha Ha, Thank you SGB; your words could well be true. I ain?t playing tbh, I am a decent person, emotionally stable and I am sure most cougars would be happy to have me on their arm.

Must stop listening to Mumford & Sons too they don't help lol, I need something more..more well you know what I mean.

Hahaha blimey
Have a read of the 'red flags' thread, this woman is starting to ring bells
Over the top declarations of live before real love can possibly exist, pushing for commitment before you are ready, changing your passwords?!
Lucky escape mate!

That's declarations of love obv

Twinflame: trust your instincts. I know some men have this thing about barking mad 'tragic' women, but they are often profoundly manipulative or at least the sort of drama llamas who will simply wear you out.

Remember 'Betty Blue'? Lots of people said that was so romantic and so sexy - maybe they forgot that the ending was her digging her own eye out with a spoon and then the bloke smothered her.