Is this a lot for one person to drink over a weekend? (...there is a reason it's posted in 'relationships', honest!)

[Camelsshouldnteatcrisps]

Ex-p and I have separated but have been trying to spend a bit of time together to see if things could ever be worked out in the future.

He originally left because he drinks too much (and it was ruining mine and the DC's lives, he chose not to stop drinking and stay)...anyway, obviously he tells me that I am the one who is a lightweight and that he is normal.

He had the best part of a normal (700ml) bottle of jack Daniels and 4 pints of stella. Is this a lot or am I over reacting? Thank you...

not for me, but im in AA.

Unquestionably yes, a lot. That is not normal in any respect.

Errr no, ide call that selfish unhealthy, and he has already told you that its you who is the problem not him, and will tell your kids how much fun it is to get so pissed and if they dont, they will be light weights too.

Have some self respect and bin this creature, because he has none for you or himself.

although you didnt ask specifically, i would contact al anon, get tooled up, they can guide you through this.

Camels

He has and continues to put alcohol before you.

I would back off completely now from him; he is likely also underestimating badly how much he is actually drinking (and he has consumed an awful lot in one session). Denial is also often seen in people who are alcohol dependent.

That's about 40 units in one weekend.

This is in no way normal - his alcohol consumption is dangerous.

www.trafford.knowalcohol.co.uk/About-units/Default.aspx

I have heard this 'you're the lightweight' argument before.... My DP liked to trot this out when i used to question his drinking.

I used to write down all the units my DP consumed and then i could see it in the context of a week or a month against the recommended limits. He was between 180 and 250 a month. I think guidelines are 28 a week.

Yes it does sound alot, does he drink in the week as well? If you split up because of his drinking it doesn't bode well if he drunk that amount while spending time with you to see if you can reconcile!

Yes it is
But it's not really relevant. If he has drink issues which are ruining your lives then he has to get help and stop completely. Not carry on and make excuses for how much he drinks.

Thank you . It is as I thought, not good and very sad (same old, talented guy and lovely before he started drinking).

He is definitely in denial I would say.

Thank you for the chart bore, I had always wondered what the units actually were.

I hope the aa is helping lowercase I wish ex-p would go along to one.

AA saved my life. not many make it through the doors, let alone accept the 12 step programme.
he has to hit rock bottom, that means (prob) losing you, the children, home, and more sometimes.
you may be able to help him find his rock bottom
really, give al anon a call.
they will help you get some clarity around it all.

28+ units of alcohol in one sitting would kill many people. This is not normal, and he has a serious problem.

I was across 2 evenings Boffin, still a huge amount.

He made me a drink and it was vile, it wasn't until I went out the the kitchen that I saw how much he'd put in.

I will call al anon, thank you.

His parents don't take me seriously either (I've been direct but worded things carefully).

His relationship broke down due to his drinking. If he wants to stay together as a family, any alcohol is too much in those circumstances, surely?