I'm sure this subject has been covered loads of times and I feel such a cliche, the whole thing is such a cliche. Thanks for reading! I tried to change my name but I don't know how to do it so I hope nobody recognises me because stupidly I want to protect DH. We have a mutual friend, who is a cousin of my niece, she has mental health problems, fairly huge ones. She's in her twenties (I am 40). I have been helping her via facebook messanging a lot because I've had some mental health issues too after DS3 was born, and as a result we became quite good friends. She wanted to move to our town (she lives 15 mins away) and I was going to help her. I found out last night that she has been messanging DH a lot. DH had left his iPad in the children's bedroom and it pinged and her name came up. So I looked, and I looked, and looked back and back. They had obviously become friends too, he had been 'helping' her too, and by the content of the messagers they had become more than good friends. I felt utterly sick of course. So last night we had a hellish evening. I've hardly slept. Basically, they've only met up once, when I was camping three weeks ago with our three children. They didn't do the deed but bad enough and he stayed the night. DH is utterly remorseful and says he was just flattered and doesn't fancy her at all. He says he doesn't understand what has happened, claiming he's never done anything like this before (I do believe him - out of the two of us if anyone was likely to do something like this I would have put my money on me, not him). He won't leave the house because he says if he does he is terrified I won't want him back. I am utterly confused. I want him to go, at least for a few days so I can think. He's gone to work now. He's never done this before. Our twelve year anniversary is next week. We were supposed to be going abroad. I can't tell my friends, as they all know him too and I don't know what to do. I feel pressured into forgiving him for the sake of the three children. I come from a broken family, it was hell. But equally, I feel utterly betrayed. I have no experience of this sort of thing, except seeing it happen on Eastenders and Jeremy Kyle.