Slept with ex

[Crackedinthemiddle]

Months ago, I threw out my partner for sleeping with prostitutes. He found somebody else within weeks.

I'm not unattractive and have had around a dozen men interested in me since, a couple of which I really liked. I couldn't bring myself to take them up on anything. I'm terrified of being hurt again. However, I'm desperately lonely and probably infertile (TTC for years to no effect). I see my life as a looming empty void.

Last night I got very drunk, called my ex and you can imagine the rest. Except that half way through he said 'This is crap' stopped and left.

I feel terrible. I can't move on. I'm on ADs but my life is still a mess. I was abused by my step father which has made it very hard for me to trust men. I was trusted my ex and he broke it.

Help?

So sorry Cracked, there's not much I can say that's going to help you but hopefully some of the other guys will be here soon.

Your Ex is a dick, please don't ever allow him in to hurt you again. Don't beat yourself up over this sweety, you done nothing wrong, you just made a mistake, that's all and there's a lesson to be learnt by it. Fuck him! if it was so crap then why didn't he know this before and what was the point to sleep with you again, doesn't make sense.
Forget men for a while and work on YOU, maybe get some counselling for yourself.
Take care x

Your ex is an utter arsehole but then you probably knew that anyway.

Stay away from him, delete all contact details and change your number if possible.

So sorry you're having such a shitty time.

Logically I know he's a dick. He's more than a dick, he's an arsehole. However, I can't move on. I've tried and tried. He's cheating on his current girlfriend with me, so he hasn't changed.

It's getting to the point where I can't even stand to have men as friends. Other than my own Dad (who is lovely) I can't stand to even talk to them for very long. This isn't good or healthy.

I don't want to turn into a woman who hates men. I knew a woman like that once, she was very sad and unstable. I really felt for her. It was wrecking her career and she was desperately lonely.

The twat texted to check that I'd taken my pill this morning. God I'm an idiot.

You're not an idiot, you just made a bad decision. What's done is now done and you can't change it. However, you can choose not to repeat it.

And you're right he is more than a dick.....he's at the top end in the league of arseholes.
From his text...I'm taking it you had unprotected sex with him? if so, get yourself STI checked ASAP.
Have you had any counselling before? it really sounds like it could be beneficial to you.
Take care and don't be too hard on yourself x

No idea if we used a condom - to be honest all I can remember is desperately trying not to be sick during the act and him leaving.

Hadn't thought about the STI thing.

And the stupidest woman of the year award goes to....

You aren't stupid. We've all done it. Hide the phone when drinking. He is a prick. Nasty, horrible, just ignore. He wants you to feel bad.

Do get a sti check though.

It was a bad decision but you know that and we've all made them. The most important thing is not to make the same bad decision again.

Its important that you do get checked out if he has a sordid history of sleeping around.

He sounds horrid.

Take time out if you feel like this about men, XP and I split up three years ago, he was incredibly disloyal, controlling all the rest of it, I am quite a strong person, independant and happy but he has affected me more than I realised at the time. I have absolutely no desire to start dating men yet, I dont want anyone to hurt me to the extent he did, I dont want to "let anyone in". I can't see me changing but I know there are some really nice guys out there, people who are kind and trustworthy, they however cannot change the damage that has been done. Give yourself some time, its not about you being a failure its about giving yourself time to heal, you will move on but a few months is nothing.

You definately wont be able to move on if you continue to sleep with him and the fact that he stopped, said it was crap and left, tells you just how much repect and care he has for you. Nada!

respect