Unknown

[Ihaveaveryleakybrain]

I'm sleeping on the floor of my DS partly because my oh and I have been rowing adlnd also because last night he for so drunk he wet the bed (this has happened a lot). He went out to the pub again tonight and I sent him a text saying I was sleeping on the floor aging because the mattress was still wet tho really its because o don't want to sleep with him. I also asked him not to come in when he got back as I was really tired (we're /I'm sleep training our DS). I also suggested he slept on the sofa as I hasn't remade our bed.

Anyway, long story short, he came in I tried ignoring him but then he tried to get into 'bed's with me. I asked him not to I told him to go away and sleep somewhere else and eventually he went away. I went to the loo and when I cane vlnavk he'd got into my bed and basically refused to move. All this and our DS was asleep right next to him. I tried and tried to get him to move album talking and then I tried taking the duvet off him. Unsurprisingly our DS woke up and oh had to get up off the floor. Whilst I was trying to calm our DS he kept having a go at me and when he wouldn't leave us alone I tried to push him out. He went, I shut yhhe door

Ah bloody phone and shaking which doesn't help. Anyway I shut the door and he bargedback on really angrily shouting the odds all whilst I was shushing and trying not to freak out our boy.

He then started saying he couldn't believe my behaviour and that I had attacked him. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should leave when he's asleep (he's now gone downstairs) or wait and try to talk rationally in the morning. I am scared of what he'll do if he sees me going he can be very aggressive and has scared me in the past tho never properly hit me. Oh crap how did my life end up like this?

Sorry just read this back and the predictive text has made it incomprehensible. I'm an idiot.

Don't worry, honey. Your post has come over loud and clear.

What sort of mood is he likely to be in when he wakes up? And do you have somewhere to go tonight or tomorrow so that you can have some time and space to think about whether this man is worthy of you and his ds - and sleep in a dry bed?

No you're not, it's quite clear, so please don't worry about that.

Only you can judge what is safe for you.
If you think you're in danger you must call police. If he has threatened or hurt you, call them. I don't want to read and run, so this is a bit short, but right now the issue is your safety.

You said something about 'not properly hit' which sounds as if he's come close or perhaps done worse. This is why I'm mentioning police. When you have the privacy to make the call, women's aid is 24 hour and are best placed to advise you on getting out

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Safety first OP.

Thank you for reading this. Just tried to preposterous with a title and ballsed that up too. Useless.

I have family that are a couple of hours away but good friends locally. I just don't want him to 'catch' me leaving because he really will go ape.

In the case your choice is to wait until the morning and encourage him to go out on some errand or other so that you can go stay with your friends/family without fear of him trying to prevent you, or call the police so that you can leave the house now.

I'm so sorry. What makes it more scary for you is that is nighttime and your DS is trying to sleep.

Is there anywhere you could go? I think my initial reaction would be to leave, if you could whilst keeping DS safe?

Izzy depending on how drunk he is he'll probably either not really remember or think it was blown out of proportion.

Sorry to cut and run, honey, but I'm in a different time zone and need to go eat.

I'm sure that others will hold your hand for as long as it takes for you make a decision tonight and I'll come back to your thread tomorrow

No worries. Thank you for your advice

I'm afraid I haven't been much help to you but I know that our fears are always magnified in the small hours and daylight may help you find the courage to confront him and dial 999 if he threatens, initimidates, or otherwise prevents you from leaving your home.

If you're sure he's asleep and isn't likely to wake up until morning, I suggest you snuggle up with your ds and get as many zzzzzz's as you can.

I'll be thinking of you.

Hope you're getting some sleep now leaky. Bravery and a clear head required for us both in the morning. Good luck, be strong.

If he is sleeping, start packing a bag, with important documents, and hide it somewhere. So if you need to leave quick it's all ready to go.

Hopefully be will pass out soon and you can just go.

Good luck.

Rationally he was drunk and a danger to ds, you didn't "attack" him you were defending ds from him. Don't let him make you feel bad about the pushing out of the door. Wait till he is out and then leave in the daytime.

how are you doing this morning leaky? Thinking of you

Well I've tried talking to him but quelle surprise he doesn't want to hear it and instead blames it all on the fact that I don't care about his feelings or his opinions about our DS. Baffled.
He says he'll stay somewhere else tonight but I don't believe him. I have bugger all idea what to do next.

Total crap I'm afraid. Have you considered saying what the op in the other thread did. That the issue is his drinking and how it has put his ds at risk and making your home a toxic environment. That because of this your house is now a "dry" house and that means no alcohol and no him if he is drunk/hungover.

Thinking of you and hope you are OK tonight, OP.
Please be assured that abuse is abuse, and that threatening behaviour is just that .....and that you don't have to wait to be hit to ask for help :(

Well he did sleep somewhere else but is back tonight. I'm still on the floor of out DS's room as I need space away from him and anyway I'm sleeping quite well here! Away tomorrow to my family so I'll have even more space to think things through. Thanks for all your advice and support.

Space to think sounds good. Good luck Ihave, I hope you start to find a way through.

Another one hoping that your break is going to bring some clarity to your thoughts and help you reach some resolution.

I suggest you slash the stinky mattress or poor a bucket of water on it before you leave as the least he can do is buy a new one - and an impermeable mattress protector - before your return.

Yes, tho now (after I refused to sleep in our room last night) he is saying I can't take the car (which I could yesterday when he delusionally thought everything was fine between us) and he doesn't want me taking the baby away. Bah.

So now he's morphed into a throwback from Victorian times dictating when his dw is allowed to go out in the carriage?

I suspect he's fearful that a few nights spent in a non-urine soaked dry bed will lead you to conclude that there's a lot more to life than living with a piss artist and you'd be more than within your rights to do so, but that's no reason why you and ds should be denied a visit to your family.

Pack what you need, gather up ds, and go in the car. If he's hidden the car keys or taken them with him, travel by train/coach or whatever it takes to get to your destination.

Where there's a will there's a way and I strongly advise you to exercise your will in this matter otherwise you'll be giving him the message that what he says goes and that drinking to the point where he's comatose unable to control his bladder is par for the course.

Leaky - please do try to go whether in the car or by other means. If you were my grown up daughter (dont have one yet) I would want to come and fetch you