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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hi

5 replies

mrsscoob · 07/09/2012 23:40

What do I do, we get on ok, we don't argue and are pleasant to one another. We've been together 17 years. However we have no closeness I don't think he cares about me I think I just irritate him. I'm always bitter, I do everything around the house as well as work, I never say anything though as don't like to argue. We have a little boy who we both adore we play with him and have fun laugh and joke then as soon as he goes to bed we sit in different rooms, me watching tv and him on the computer.

I feel he's only here because of our son and I put up with that as I too don't want to do anything that will upset our sons life but it all feels so crap :( don't know why I'm posting really, but if anyone has had a similar experience then maybe I could get some perspective. I think what's made me think about it more is my nan died and I told him and he said all the right things then just sat down at the computer on twitter and Ive just sat here on my own all evening feeling really sad and lonely.

OP posts:
SapphireandFevertree · 07/09/2012 23:50

Didn't want to read and run but I'm not sure I can offer much advice except asking is it like this all the time? I've been with my OH for 13 years and we go through phases when we don't have a lot to say to each other but they don't last and other times we can talk for hours. Could it be a rough patch or is it all ways like this?

Sorry about your Nan and I hope you have someone who can support you in a way that you needt. I wouldn't make any decisions about your relationship while you're feeling like this. You have other things to think about at the moment.

springydaffs · 08/09/2012 18:11

think you need a more descriptive heading if you want people to post OP! Smile

sounds grim and very lonely Sad . your child will pick this up in his bones iyswim - don't think for a minute he won't. So you have to address it. do you feel you can talk to him at the mo? Have you tried to talk to him? if so, what happened?

just one idea: is he addicted to the internet?

and how long has this been going on for?

questions questions...

DoingItForMyself · 08/09/2012 18:29

Sorry about your nan and so sad that you don't feel supported by the person who is supposed to love you. It sounds like he just doesn't really want to put in the effort any more. You need to have 'a big talk' about how unhappy you are, lay down some ultimatums and some timescales and say you'll see how it goes for the next xx weeks, but if things don't improve you will be making some changes as you can't live like this forever, its miserable. There is more to a relationship than sharing a house. x

amillionyears · 08/09/2012 18:34

Sorry about your nan.
First things first.How about you go over to your DH or DP and ask him for a cuddle and see what he does.At times of bereavement,cuddles are more or less essential imo.

amillionyears · 08/09/2012 22:10

How are things op?
Did he give you a cuddle?
Are you scared to post anything else.
fwiw,I think your relationship is salvageable if you would like to post again.

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