Help, please - must see mother tomorrow, feeling frightened

[WhitePeacock]

I have to see my mother tomorrow, as am picking up my grandmother for a visit. She is very selfish and a bit of a bully. Seeing her usually makes me feel powerless, sick and small. Anybody got any good mantras/techniques for getting through unavoidable encounters with people who act badly upon one's tender stomach?

Just be cool and polite. If she says something to wind you up, ignore it. If she tries to make you do something you don't want to, just say, " no, I don't think so, that doesn't suit me/isn't convenient," etc.

If she wasn't your mother, would you put up with this kind of behaviour? Don't let her away with it just because she is.

And don't let the presence of your grandmother stop you from being firm with her.

my mother is like this and i avoid her.
if i have to see her them when she makes comments i try to ignore but if it needs a reply then i try to make a neutral comment or have told her that i Dont agree personally with x comment. etc. try not to be drawn in. easier said than done i know!

Thank you both. It makes it easier to know other people have to deal with DMs not being particularly dear, although it's sad that anyone has to go through it. I find it bloody heartbreaking at times. V good point about the fact I wouldn't put up with such piffle from anyone else, too. Thank you again.

Be honest. I've always regretted the times that I've just crumbled and agreed with my mum when she is wrong/offensive, but I can never ever regret just being honest with her.