My first husband was like this; the only solution for me was to end the marriage.
We both worked until DC1 was born. I wanted to go back to work full time and had arranged for DD to go to a childminder, when he suddenly started saying that he didn't agree with working mums, that I should be at home with my baby, and that if I went back to work he would give up his job, we would lose our house and it would be my fault and up to me to explain it to DD when she was older. This was pre-tax credit times, he was earning 20k, I was earning I think about 8k. There is no way we could have managed on my earnings and my confidence was low so I gave in my notice.
However then when I was at home with DD, he didn't like that either and moaned at me if I bought myself anything, even deodorant or a box of tampax! He also said I sat on my arse all day, and refused to do anything in the house at weekends, nor would he do any overtime at his workplace, of which there was plenty, even though we were struggling financially. He didn't want us to have any more money as he didn't want me to have anything or any independence with any spare money.
I then went and got myself a waitressing job, evenings and weekends, but he kept not coming home from work on purpose so I would have to cancel my shifts at a few minutes' notice, so I had to give that up. I then got a weekend job in a shop, and arranged for my family and my in-laws to take care of DD whilst I worked. But he decided I was having an affair with a colleague, and came into the shop whilst I was there, kicking off and threatening the manager and other staff, and got me sacked!
That was the beginning of the end for me; I ended the marriage within about a month of him getting me the sack. I had fun drafting out my divorce petition and quoting all that stuff, I can tell you!
I have since read that not allowing your partner to work or trying to make them lose their job is a form of financial abuse. My ex was very controlling, and very emotionally abusive. He's a pathetic excuse for a man really.
With regards to your situation, OP, my advice would be to stand up to him. Tell him to keep his opinions to himself. If you want a job, then you should get one, he can lump it. Your mother sounds similar to my mum too, I would tell her to butt out!