How long after childbith 'til DTD?

[cheekychiquita]

Almost 3 months now and still have not DTD with DP. Is this normal? He has not been pushing at all but have feeling he is wondering how much longer. I am too tired, not particularly fond of looking at myself in mirror never mind anyone else, esp as gained 2.5 stone and truthfully not really missing it? DP says I still look great to him and he loves me and we kiss and hug/cuddle etc., but that's it. This is by far the longest period in the years of being with each other that we have been intimate. Really, is this OK?

I think 'normal' covers a lot and many people take way longer than 3 months. I'm willing to admit to being one of them! On the other hand, many people take a lot less time. Have you talked with your dh? This is the first step really.

God yes! It was over 8mths before I dtd again. I had a tear and stiches and was BF and just really had no libido.

You do it when you're ready and not before. Saying that, I think once you're out of the habit for a while, it might be good to put some energy into other sexy/affectionate behaviours so that you still feel connected to your DH. And you never know when you might suddenly feel in the mood and jump him

Of course it's ok, fairly normal I would think, but you need to talk to him, start communicating so it doesn't become a huge issue that neither of you dare bring up.

It's a good idea to at least have a go to make sure any stitches etc. feel ok , but do it for you, not because you think he needs sex.
If you are breastfeeding then lubrication is often an issue, a nice lube, like durex play with aloe vera is a very good idea.

Please talk to him, explain how you are feeling, I'm sure he'd be horrified to think you are putting pressure on yourself.

It can take many months to feel normal again , 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

4/5 weeks after both kids. Basically as soon as the stitches had healed. It wasn't the most romantic rumbles I've ever had but I needed to get back on the horse to make sure it all worked down there. I gave up after that for a while and waited until we both actually wanted to again and not because we wanted to test it out!
Your DP will of course love you even if you have changed, I put on 4 stone, looked like a bloater and couldn't stand looking at myself, however DH seemed to see the old me. Maybe he isn't ready, some men arnt and it takes a while for them to go through the adjustment period of you becoming a mum. The wife and lover may just take a back seat for a while. I wouldn't worry as long as your both open about everything to each other, you'll be fine.

About 1-2 weeks with us

BUT!!!

No stitches and was bottle feeding so dh shared the night feeds. I'm also sure it was hormones at that point making me beyond horny as from about 3 months to one year after dc were born we were not doing it much.

Ages for me.

I remember a thread before when it dawned on me that I didn't need to wait 6 months, it was 6 weeks. (first child, C-sec, not in the mood anyway!)

I have a very patient and understanding Dh. Eventually I think he was right in saying 'let's just try and see how it goes'. Am so glad I did try, but it was far less frequent than pre-children.

Take it easy on yourself. Your hormones are still all over the place.

My SIL was the same Adviceinscotland, a week after her 2nd baby, I remember going to the Docs with her to get the MAP!
I think it was around 6 weeks for me ( it was a very long time ago) .

4 weeks for me but I had no stitches or anything so felt ok to do it.

Yeah, 6 weeks of this 3 months I forgot don't count 'cause of C-section, and was still pretty sore. We are pretty open with each other, and I def think that when DS sleeps for a few hours at aassist time more often this will certainly help my energy levels! He works shifts as well so combo of nights and days makes for interesting spontaneity!

It was 2 weeks for us, though we did non PIV stuff less than 36 hours after! I think the hormones gave me a huge rush and I jumped on DH tbh, I was quite impatient at having to wait so long. No stitches here either. I'd put on a stone but my old B cups had jumped up to a D which DH was happy enough with.