Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex wants me back

18 replies

xmasevebundle · 03/09/2012 23:42

Im currently 24w pregnant with his first child and mine.

We was together for 8 months before i ended it after he said

-Abort it-They are a bastard-I hope it dies-Even denied it.

Hes done nothing since only spend £130, i have struggled since and still am.

We broke up on really bad terms and he said some horrid things. Mum threatend to stab the baby out of me and came up to me said i treat him like a fucking cuntHmm

I lived with him for 4 months and got a dog together. He blocked me on facebook after a argument, he message me asking me back.

I dont want any contact with him nor will he see his child. I think hes doing it to fuck my head up.

I seen him a few weeks ago, first time in months and he glared at me and the bump.

I think guilt has overcome him and thinks this is for the best? I no longer love him and dont want to even see him after the ways hes treated me. I still find it hard to cope with by what hes done.

If he died tomorrow, i wouldn't flinch.

Hes begging me saying it was mistake blah blah blah. He really hurt me and took it to far.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/09/2012 23:59

Ignore him and drop all contact. Between him and his mother they sound utterly unhinged.

Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 00:06

I didn't reply, not going to. I am trying to move but him living around the corner(2min walk) dont help at all.

I keep everything he sends me as i want a restraining order agaisnt both of them when hes born.

He did say he has rights and will take full custodyHmm

I no the rights he has thats 0. Unless he takes me to court.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 04/09/2012 00:09

Forget him - he's a twat.

As for him getting full custody - that's the stupidest thing he's ever said.

Suround yourself with nicer people than this fuckwit and his fuckwit mother.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/09/2012 00:16

As you're not married and don't even have to register him as the father when the time comes, his rights are almost non-existent. If you can relocate, do so.

pictish · 04/09/2012 00:20

Yes...I agree with the others. He's a waste of space and his mother is mad. Custody my arse.
Also agree with relocating if you can.

GlesgaRocket · 04/09/2012 00:20

You sound like you have your head screwed on - well done. You're doing the right thing by keeping away from him. Sorry you're going through this, but it sounds very much like you're doing the best thing for you and the baby by cutting him out of your lives.

Good luck for the future.

Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 00:31

I would love to move, i live with my mum and dad. Dad would have to get another job.

Im very scared of him taking the baby away as i no he will get some sort of access if he takes me to court. Then will take to his mum and i have so much worry about this. Ive spoken to my MW. I dont go out unless with my mum or dad.

I have been 5 times since july after his mum came up to me. Prisoner in my own home. But i am okay babys healthy and my mums great support.

I hope it dont come across as i am keeping my son from a father, I'm not hes just a sperm doner and a vinditive evilman boy.

OP posts:
TodaysAGoodDayForTeamGB · 04/09/2012 00:34

Please don't go back to him, he has given you an idea of how he'll be if you do. Do you really want that sort of home life for your baby? They don't change, trust me on this. Please.

pictish · 04/09/2012 00:41

We don't think that, we agree with you. He sounds really fucking bad.

izzyizin · 04/09/2012 01:12

As you are not married to this boy man, unless he is in the room with you in the Registry Office when the time comes for you to register the birth of your child, he cannot be named on the birth certificate and 'Father's Name' will be left blank.

If he wishes to apply to the Courts to have access to your child he will first need to prove that he is the father by means of a paternity test that he will be required to pay for.

However, unless ordered to do so by a Court of Law, you are under no obligation to consent to your child having a mouth swab taken to establish paternity.

In the event that it is established that he is the father of your child and he wishes to apply for joint parental responsibility or a contact order or similar, he'll be required to pay solicitors and court fees for the privilege.

Needless to say, you're best advised to have nothing further to do with this sperm donor manchild and if he or any of his relatives harass/threaten you at any time, please don't hesitate to report them to the police.

If you intend to claim benefits it may be that you will incur some financial penalty if you don't name the father of your child, but that's something to be considered and discussed with your dps after the arrival of your xmas bundle.

Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 02:19

I am going to go after CSA when he is born and he wants a a DNA.

Im thinking is it even worth it? Do i really need money off him i dont i can cleary cope alone. There is side to me thinks no fuck it you got me pregnant too and you have to deal with it. It seems to me if i let it go hes got away with it as he dont have to pay. He earns a lot, 600+ a week.

Hes not coming to the birth, after his stupid comments.

He said the childs not his its MINE. I have got messages that state he dont want anything to do with the child. Then asks for me back?

I did not contact the police, i told my MW and i am seeing her wednesday again due to stress.

None of his family know im pregnant, expect his mum. He dont want anyone to know im pregnant with his son(who i think will look his double)

Can you even ask for a restraining order against both of them before my sons born?

OP posts:
tartyflette · 04/09/2012 02:22

If his mother issues threats against you physically again then I think you most certainly can -- what she said was vile.

Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 02:23

It sounds stupid but i think he wants to get this baby out of me. His mums been in and out of nut houses.

I think hes planning to meet me and kill me/baby if i agree. He nos where i live, I no where he lives, his mum, sister and his dad. But i am scared shitless to go out aftet what his mum said, shes huge woman professer klump size!

OP posts:
tartyflette · 04/09/2012 02:27

I think you need to tell the police about this threat. If you are frightened for your life then they will take it extremely seriously. Do your parents know about the threat and about how scared you are?

Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 02:39

Yes my mum and dad no everything hes done.

Its the thought of going to the police then nothing happening then he comes and attacks me(hes the type)

The treat was many weeks ago roughly(16w) but it has stressed me out since. I think she would carry out an act, i dont have anything to say she said it though. Shes come up to me at the bus stop and said your a cunt to my son. I RAN home so quick i tripped over and was crying/shaking.

I no longer go out. I express everything to my MW.

I want to go mum groups and meet new people i dont have many friends.

Its still holding me back.

OP posts:
Original poster
xmasevebundle · 04/09/2012 02:41

If any women had this threat or when you go out upon you i think everyone would feel the same.

Hes a mummys boy who can do NO wrong and what he says goes. I told him to fuck off when he said abort the little bastard.

OP posts:
tartyflette · 04/09/2012 03:22

Please make a note/keep a record of all their appalling statements and threats from the beginning -- it will help give the police a full picture of how you feel and also may prevent them from being able to have anything to do with your baby after the birth. Also tell the police that you have been keeping our midwife informed of the situation and she knows all about it as well. You can ring the non-emergency number, 101, and ask if an officer can come round. You have been threatened with physical harm, as has your baby.

tartyflette · 04/09/2012 03:23

sorry, by 'prevent them' I meant ....prevent your ex and his mother......

New posts on this thread. Refresh page